Dwight Howard seems like a nice enough guy, so I really didn’t want to pull out the big guns. But, considering he forced a game 7 against my team and GUARANTEED a series win, he really left me no choice. No choice at all.
Here kitty kitty… I’ve got something for you.
An entire arena filled with GREEN! Consider it your kryptonite and go away quietly so we can take on the monster that is Lebron. I saved my duct tape, hypnotizing wheel, and voodoo doll from last season, so I have everything I need to handle him.
If that doesn’t work, maybe this guy can help us out:
I’m hearing Patrick Ewing is guaranteeing a Magic win over the Celtics too. What’s in the water down there in Florida? From Dwight, it’s false bravado, but from an assistant coach, it’s pretty bush league. You can’t guarantee wins at this level. I wouldn’t guarantee a win when we were playing the Clippers earlier this season and we were the defending champs. Good for me that I didn’t, because we lost that game. Any team can lose on any night. Certain teams have a higher probability, obviously, but anything can happen. That’s why only chumps make guarantees.
That was an amazing 4th quarter. Props to Stephon Marbury for being the catalyst offensively to kick off the run. This game was a perfect example of how superior the Celtics are from a mental standpoint. Physically the Magic should be killing us and at times they are, but mentally, the Celtics just never quit. Post-game, Dwight Howard was blaming Van Gundy and his teammates for not getting him enough touches. That sounds a lot like Dwight’s complaints a couple of years ago when they got swept by the Pistons in the playoffs and Brian Hill got fired. It’s always someone else’s fault. That’s a big problem that holds the Magic back in my opinion. He needs to develop the maturity and leadership skills to go along with his immense talent.
Fast forward to today and Dwight has guaranteed that his team will win tonight and win the series. Hmm, sounds an awful lot like last season when Jameer guaranteed a win for the Magic against the Pistons. How’d that turn out? (Hint: Not good.) I’m not a fan of guarantees. I think they make you look like a dick. If you don’t win, you look like a fool. If you do win, you look like a genius motivator. I don’t know what will happen. My guess is that Orlando wins tonight and Boston wins game 7 in Boston on Sunday. But, I’m not a dick, so I won’t guarantee it.
This cracks me up. Mainly the first part. “I’m a big guy. Sometimes I don’t even feel it when I’m sitting on a remote.” I wonder if he’d feel it if he was sitting on a coyote or a porcupine? I think it’s nice that he apologized and smart to do it in a humorous way. No need to act like it was a big ass deal, but always good PR-wise to acknowledge the incident and explain that it was unintentional. Since calling BBD a “raging animal” the kid’s Dad has since backed off and admitted he overreacted. All’s well that ends well, I guess.
Source: CaptainDHughes/YouTube.com
Speaking of big ass deals, Mark Cuban finally apologized to Kenyon Martin and his Mom. Another PR move, but one that definitely was overdue. He extended the olive branch, but we’ll see what “Lips” decides to do with it. Ultimately, I think it will be hard to mend fences there. If Cuban really believes K-Mart is a “thug” or “punk,” I’m not sure how they could ever really kiss and make up. Could you forgive and forget with someone that you know deep down doesn’t respect you or your family? Probably not. Either way, it’s solid entertainment.
I know I didn’t post when Derrick Rose won Rookie of the Year or Lebron won Most Valuable Player… but frankly, they just aren’t as adorable as Danny Granger. I just wanted to look at him. Carry on.
2009 NBAE (Photo by Ron Hoskins/NBAE via Getty Images)
Most of these thoughts assume the reader follows the NBA. If you don’t, sorry for the confusion. I went back to work today after having a week off and I’m too tired to be detail oriented.
Aaron Brooks looked SO cute in that red blazer and bow tie.
Am I the only one that thought Lisa Salters’ “Shane you sweat on me more than any other NBA player” comment sounded a little dirty? Maybe my mind was already in the gutter because it was Shane. I love me some ex-Dukies.
The Dad of that kid that Big Baby plowed over is a dink. Raging animal? Dude, STFU. (I haven’t called anyone a “dink” since junior high, but it’s totally appropriate in this case.)
Raise your hand if you’d like to see a Mark Cuban-Kenyon Martin cage match. Yeah, me too. Seriously though, you stepped up to dude’s mom? Really? That’s balls. Gotta leave the mom out of it.
My mom cracks me up. She butchers names. On Yao Ming this weekend, she said: “That Ying Mung is always hurt. He’s just too tall.” Yes, she was serious.
I don’t watch hockey, but that Canes guy that cheap-shotted the Bruins guy and didn’t get penalized a game… dead man. Watch your back, fella.
Dwight Howard clearly doesn’t watch Celtics basketball if he was surprised that Big Baby hit that shot. He hits that shot all the time. He hit a similar game-winning shot already this season. The Magic did nothing wrong. It was just one of those things. Sometimes the last second shot goes in and sometimes it doesn’t. Luckily for the Cs, this time it did.
I’m going to design a Birdman wallpaper tonight because I think he’s a majestic beauty. Don’t judge me. :p
Lebron James is really pissing me off. He’s disgustingly good. I can’t even enjoy it. When you’re rooting for the other team, it’s just awful. He’s awful! Sigh. (Yeah, I know. That sounds ridiculous.)
Thank the good lord allmighty and all things holy that I bought a new computer just hours before this game. I was totally distracted setting up my new baby and getting all my programs set up on it to even focus completely on this joke of a game. Holy inconsistency Batman. Like seriously, wtf? Honestly, I don’t care if they win this series as long as they play Celtics basketball. If they’re moving the ball and playing great D and still can’t get past D-Ho and the Magic men, then so be it. But, I’m so not having this crappy D and lackluster effort bs. I remember not so long ago when Celtics fans were lamenting Rondo getting snubbed for the All-star game and I remember saying at the time that Rondo wasn’t ready yet to be called an all-star. Last night’s game was a perfect example of why. He’s not consistent. He has brilliant triple dub games and then he has games where he just doesn’t show up. I’m not trying to jump on him specifically. I know he isn’t any more responsible than any of the other players on the team. Ray and Paul need to “show up” more consistently too if they’re going to advance. I just think it’s insane that they went from winning in a blowout in Boston to losing in a blowout in Orlando. Is it tougher on the road? Sure, of course it is. But, great teams make the adjustment. I’m not throwing in the towel, fan-wise. I know this team well enough to know that they still have a great chance to pull off their own magic and win this series. I’m just starting to wonder whether they’re headed anywhere even if they do. You can’t take on Cleveland dropping game 1 and then half-assing it the rest of the way only to “turn it up a notch” at the eleventh hour.
I’m on vacation this week so I’ve been watching wayyyy more ESPN than usual. Yesterday, the worldwide leader spent the day vomiting up Brett Favre to the Vikings news and it was nauseating. I was pretty sure I was in for the same diet of regurgitation today. Oh how wrong I was… I was making lunch, when out of the corner of my ear I heard the word “Manny,” and of course sprinted from the kitchen to the living room to see what the news was (I’ve already admitted that TJ Simers is right and I’m a bitter no-lifer who spends my time thinking about new and unique ways to hate on Manny). I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the ’50 game suspension for performing enhancement drugs’ headline scroll. My mom is retired so we were hanging out together and I screamed to her to get her ass out to the living room so she could see for herself. It was quite a scene.
As the day wore on and it was covered by every talking head available for comment at ESPN, it became very clear that Manny was taking the “I didn’t know the harmless medication my doctor prescribed for me was banned. My bad. Sorrrry…” stance. To their credit, most of the analysts weren’t having it. Surprisingly though, Peter Gammons seemed to buy that crock of shit. Come on Pete, you didn’t just fall off the turnip truck son. By the end of the day, the banned substance was finally revealed. Drumroll please. Women’s fertility medication! SAY WHAT? Manny was trying to get pregnant? Wow, he really is eccentric. No no, apparently these meds are used at the end of a steroid cycle for some reason or another. Phew. That’s better, I guess.
I’m not going to bust on what Manny did. The reason being that someday, god I hope not, but someday — it may be revealed that a player that I love was using. I don’t want to be a hypocrite down the road when I defend them or at the very least, don’t come down on them. So, I’m going to shut my trap now and not condemn Manny for using. I’m just going to say that I feel bad for all those Manny loving Dodger fans who invested in the Dodger caps with sewn in dreads. I feel bad for JetBlue Airways and their $99 Manny Fans promotion. I even feel bad for T.J. Simers. He looks like a real asshole now.
Eddie House scored a career playoff high of 31 points.
Rajon Rondo earned another triple double (15 pts, 18 assts, 11 rebs) and threw down a pretty nifty slam dunk to boot.
Doc Rivers had high praise for Brian Scalabrine after the game and said that he was surprised Scal was even able to come back this soon. This quote from Scal is one of the reasons I love him: “The funny thing, everyone else has problems with how much playing time I’ve gotten here except me,” said Scalabrine. “Even my mother will say, ’How come you’re not playing more?’ I tell everyone the same thing. I’m happy to be here. I’m happy being a Boston Celtic … I’m happy being a winner.”
The Bad
Paul Pierce was in foul trouble and only played 15 mins. and only scored 3 points. (The upside: Lots of needed rest for the captain!)
Rafer Alston felt an imaginary elbow and decided it would be a good idea to slap Eddie House in the back of the head (he’s suspended for Game 3).
The Ugly
J.J. Redick fouled out and then thought it would be a good idea to go bitch about it to Bennett Salvatore, thus getting himself ejected from the game.
Most of these thoughts assume the reader follows the NBA. If you don’t, sorry for the confusion. I went back to work today after having a week off and I’m too tired to be detail oriented.
