boozed out phenoms (and other musings)

Posted on | September 7, 2009 | Comments

If you can’t believe a boozed out bisexual internet phenom, who can you believe?
* Depending on who you believe, Tila Tequila was either choked out and unlawfully restrained by “boyfriend,” Shawne Merriman – or – respectfully detained by an “acquaintance” only interested in keeping her from driving while intoxicated. More on this tawdry tale… Shawne Merriman’s lawyer: LB was seeking ride for ‘extremely intoxicated’ Tila Tequila | NFL’s Merriman accused of choking girlfriend Tila Tequila

Slick Rick
* Rick Fox is joining Melrose Place. And the jokes will clearly just write themselves.

He said, he said
* While I was away from blogdom and Twitterdom, there was a sad and tragic breakup! Ashton & Demi? No, worse! Steph and Mooncricket!! Noooooo! What the heck happened? I can only imagine. Amusingly though, the two decided to take to their respective Twitters to air it out. From what I can gather, Mooncricket got pissed about something and left casa de Starbury. Steph then implored him to come back or at least pick up the phone and call him. Alas though, it appears to be over. Oh the humanity!

Beckett bites the big one (No! I will NOT say, “pause.” That is stupid. STUPID!, I say.)
* My boyfriend, Josh Beckett, appears to be in the midst of a tragic slump. I tried to watch today’s game (CWS 5, BOS 1), but just couldn’t do it. The Josh Beckett that I know and love, rips opposing hitters’ hearts out, throws them to the ground and spits on them. I don’t want to remember him any other way.

A watched kettle finally boils
* Finally! Marquis Daniels signs on the dotted line. I like what I’m hearing from him so far: “Not many people get a chance to play with Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Rasheed Wallace. It’s a good opportunity and I’ll worry about the money later. Right now we have to worry about one thing, and that’s winning the championship this season.” Sounds like a smart guy to me. Now, lets get this season started! I’m tired of waiting. This off-season has been WAY TOO LONG! More from Boston.com: Celtics get their man

ps. Brad Penny sucks weenies
* Don’t you just love it when a guy loses games for you all season long, then gets released and pitches gems for their new team? You don’t? Yeah, me either. Suck it, Brad Penny!!

bradpennycansuckit
^ I won’t miss these god awful puns… at all! ^