hey celebrities, stop quitting twitter

Posted on | October 13, 2009 | Comments

Dear famous people,

Nobody gives a rat’s ass if you quit Twitter. While we’re on the subject, stop deleting your Twitter and then changing your mind and creating a new one. That’s stupid. Assuming anyone cares about you enough to follow you twice, it’s still an extra step that you shouldn’t force your fans to take. If you say something on Twitter that makes you sound like a nitwit, just realize that you can never get it back. You must live with it being “out there” like all the times you drunk dialed celebrities more famous than you from Paris Hilton’s Sidekick. If you do decide to leave though, just go away quietly. Don’t put out a press release or in any way advertise your departure… and for the motherfreakin love of James Posey and all that is holy, don’t produce a rap video about it.

No, I wasn’t following Miley Cyrus on Twitter because I’m not 12 years old. But, her stupid “Here’s why I quit Twitter” YouTube rap video did inspire this post.

Oh, you think I’m just lecturing celebrities about their Twitter habits to avoid discussing the double tragedy that took place last Sunday? Ok fine, you would be right.

R.I.P. 2009 Red Sox season.

Patriots still have a chance to get their shit together though. Come on, Tom Brady. Chop chop mister!