nba musings

There are worse things than losing to the Orlando Magic. I have to admit, this season they are pretty good. Especially on offense. Holy crap, that team can score. But…

There aren’t worse things than losing to the Orlando Magic or any team on your home court. If you’re a so-called “elite” team, it just shouldn’t happen.

There are worse things than almost losing a close game on the road.

Unless the team you’re playing on the road is awful. Overtime? The Knicks? What now? Who? Where am I? What crazy fucking alternate universe is this?

I don’t know what their problem is. I’ve pondered it and I’ve got nothing. It could be anything. K.G. still finding his legs. The absence of Big Baby. Rondo cashing that fat check and then checking out. Or… the curse of the Powe-bino.

Either way, they are clearly in a funk. This calls for drastic measures. I’ve decided that like Derrick Rose, I will not cut my hair again until they snap out of it. It’s already pretty long (you’ll have to take my word for it). So, if they don’t snap out of it all season, I could very well end up with a mane of Crystal Gayle-like epic proportions.

The ball is in your court, Celtics. Don’t make me look like a hippie!!
*shaking fist at the sky*

I heard a story on TBJ today about KG being asked about meeting some of the Pacers rookies over the summer to which he replied, “Fuck your rookies.”

Which reminded me of a random conversation w/Mom last week.

Me: I can’t believe we lost to the Pacers.
Mom: You know who did it, right? Who had a good game?
Me: Who?
Mom: Psycho.

As a Duke loving, Carolina hater… I’m gonna have to just go ahead and agree with KG.

I can’t seem to work up the energy to post my “afterthoughts” after games anymore, so I’m going to attempt to blog during the game — hence the assinine new heading, ”duringthoughts.”

1st quarter thoughts:

• I had no idea that Mikki Moore had landed with Golden State. When I realized it before the game, I immediately liked our chances better. I almost tweeted that I was going to “pencil in the win” and then came to my senses when it occurred to me that such a statement would be a huge jinx.
• Mikki got 2 fouls within the first 3 minutes of the game and then tried to wave off his substitute. Oh Mikki…
• The starters looked slow. Disturbingly slow.
• The bench came in and brought the spark. Then, lost the spark.
• Shelden is officially Tommy’s new Leon. He was waxing poetically about Shelden’s rebounding prowess.

2nd quarter thoughts:

• We struggle against teams we shouldn’t struggle against. Me no likey.
• The Celtics defense looks weak, sloppy and uninspired. Teams should not be scoring on them at will — but they are. Where is the accountability?
• Who are these aliens and what did they do with my Celtics?
• Whoa, KG hit a shot from the opposite end of the court…  but it didn’t count. Amazing, crazy shot. Damn shame that it was after the buzzer.

BOS 49, GSW 48 – Half-time break thoughts:

• Celtics Hub posted a blog entry recently about spoiled self-pitying Boston sports fans. At first, I was like, “Haha, yeah you are sooo right. Boston fans are spoiled!” About a half second later, I remembered that I am that Boston sports fan. I really am. I just expect my teams to win and I’m always going to expect that. At this point in time — November 2009 — the Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics are all capable of winning against any team they play against. So yes, I do expect them to win every time they hit the mound/field/court. When they don’t, I’m surprised. Entitled, party of one. (I only mention it because this entire post is going to illustrate this point nicely, so I want to just assure you that I’m entirely self-aware.)
• Rex Ryan is a boob. (I know that has nothing to do with the Celtics, but he just appeared on my TV.)

3rd quarter thoughts:

• Cs look a little better coming out for the break, but it’s still a 1 point game.
• KG flies into Corey Maggette, knocking him to the ground. Tommy Heinsohn exclaims: “That will teach you to upfake!”
• 3rd foul on Mikki Moore. God bless you, Mikki.
• Ray had a nice fast break which made me exclaim, “Yeahhhhh Ray!” until it was promptly blocked by the aforementioned Maggette.
• Finally a nice sequence. Perk blocks a shot which turns into a jump ball which the Cs win… Finally some momentum with this 12 point lead?
• Rondo sucks at free throw shooting. No, really. He missed two free throws, caught the miss on the second one and then during an attempt to pass the ball, bounced it off someone’s face. There are no words.
• Sheed knocked the ball away from Randolph, ref called a foul and Sheed skipped up the court complaining about it. Looked like he was playing hopscotch. Somehow he avoided a tech call. Phew.
• Rondo just hit a 3-pointer. This has and will always be something like seeing a cat walk on it’s hind legs and order a biscuit and a latte. Amazing and improbable.

4th quarter thoughts:

• BOS 80, GSW 68 – 13 point lead going into the 4th
• Mike Gorman stat: 10 missed free throws so far for the Celtics
• Shel just “ran over” Raja Bell going back to the Cs end of the floor. Heinsohn wants Bell’s home address so he can send him an Emmy.
• BOS 86, GSW 70 – Sheed hit a big 3, stretching the lead to 16. Time out, Warriors.
• Sheed and Eddie House spent some time jacking up three-pointers like the ball was a hot potato.
• Sheed rolled around on the floor w/a GSW player, grabbing for a loose ball… Doing so earned him an exuberant tommy point from you-know-who.
• Eddie House hit two big 3-pointers in a row and was immediately forgiven for all those earlier unsuccessful attempts.
• Mikki Moore forces KG into a 24-second violation.
• Ray and Pierce drive to the bucket and convert on two consecutive trips down the court. More of that, please.
• Pierce hits a 3 with less than 3 minutes to play in the 4th.
• KG hits a circus bank shot with a little over 2 minutes to play in the 4th.
• BOS 105, GSW 86 – Doc unloads the bench. Perk only starter still in the game.
• Tommy yells for Gino. Can’t top that.
• Final score: BOS 109, GSW 95

(Yeah, my “thoughts” turned into play-by-play somewhere along the way there. Maybe this will be my first and last “duringthoughts” of the season. I’ll stick to Twitter during games from here on out thank-you-very-much.)

Ever wonder what the Celtics starting five would look like hip hop dancing in elf costumes? Well, thanks to Jib Jab’s Elf Yourself,  wonder no more!

Please to enjoy:

Hip Hop version: http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/Kt5uI403ceBQKJetc9dE
Disco version: http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/3X0PdoCpBGfiZqsopPtX
Country version: http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/ivD02rt2rO5eIv93guYs

Ok, so I know prison does some interesting things to people. Sometimes they find God. Sometimes they find inner peace. Sometimes they just get super buff and come out with some interesting “stories” to tell. I’m down with all that. Whatever works. To each his own. But, you know… I just can’t get behind this interesting bit of news: J.R. Smith no longer wants to be called, J.R. He wants to be called… *drumroll*… Earl.

Um, no.

I’m sorry if that’s your given name, but I’m just flat out saying that this isn’t going to happen.

The only names I will authorize are the following: J.R. (an oldie, but a goodie), Smitty (holla! JVGisHipHop) or my personal favorite, Golden God.

Ok? Ok, then.

Apparently Ron Artest took issue with some comments from Charles Barkley. When Ron’s got something on his mind, well… 140 characters is um, a challenge.

Please to enjoy (start from the bottom and read up):

For the whole rant (yes, there is more), kick it here to one of Ron’s twelve Twitter account pages: http://twitter.com/ThugRaider37

Here is what the muse™ is thinking about this week:

Rondo gets paid
* So Rajon Rondo may like to fight with people. I’m ready and willing to admit that it’s a distinct possibility that he’s a tiny bit of a douchbag. But, you know what? He’s our douchebag and we’re keeping him!

Is there anything more obnoxious than Favre-cam?
* I have to hand it to Brett Favre. He really stuck it to Green Bay. I keep rooting for him to lose and somehow the old bastard just keeps on winning. I’m not even sure exactly why I’m rooting for him lose. It’s just that somewhere along the way, he turned into the bad guy. Over-exposure maybe? The mother-bleeping Favre-cam maybe? Oh yeah, that’s right… Now, I remember.

For every incident they admit, there are at least ten more they don’t
* This Tom Cable story just gets sicker and sicker. He doesn’t just knock assistant coaches around, he beats wives and girlfriends too?

“More than 20 years ago, during my first marriage… I became very angry [at his first wife, Sandy] and slapped her with an open hand. What I did was wrong and I have regretted and felt sorrow about that moment ever since…”

Slapped her with an open hand, huh? Sure, Tom, sure. Major props to the district attorney’s office for dropping those recent assault charges. Because you know, I’m pretty sure that guy just ran into a door.

Manu swats a bat in mid-air
* Am I the only one that feels bad for the bat? While we’re at it, where the hell did a bat come from? And how small was that thing? Was it just a baby bat, frantically search for it’s mother? Sweet Jesus, never mind. I don’t want to think about it anymore.

J.J. has a career night
* I know I’m only supposed to talk about J.J. Redick when someone in the blogosphere mentions Erin Andrews… But, there was that whole time period during the peeping tom thing where Erin was all over the place and I didn’t bring up J.J. once during that time. Mostly because I was too lazy to blog during that time, but still. I’m due and what better time than now when my boy J.J. has a career night for the Orlando Magic. 27 points! 6 rebounds! 5 assists! Pretty nice stats. Of course, one my Facebook friends still had the nerve to ask me, ”You do still know he’s bad though, right?” Tsk tsk! Behave, you!

R.I.P. Trojans
* My USC Trojans got massacred in Oregon this past weekend. My mother, the Michigan fan, took great glee in this. My sister, the Notre Dame fan, also took great glee in this. Damn it! Damn it all to hell! *shaking fist at the sky* I’m a glass half full kind of girl though, so on a happy note… In NFL action, both the Jets and the Giants LOST! Bwahahahaha…