I’m working from home today. On days that I work from home, I commonly watch ESPN2. Yes, both airings of First Take. Normally, it’s just Skip & whoever bantering about LeBrick James and/or Ocho Stinko — you know, enjoyable. But on days following one of my team’s losses, it’s brutal. Today… it was this:
They kept cutting to SportsCenter, who kept showing it over and over and over and over and… Sigh. I figure if I post it here and watch it again and again, maybe it will lose some of it’s power.
Be gone, clanky free throws and game winning bearded basket makers. Be gone!!
As mascot for the New York Knicks, I submit to you the following message from the Boston Celtics, their fans, and the entire state of Massachusetts, on behalf of whom I speak. You can keep your mercurial hotdogs in the Big Apple. We don’t want ‘em. We tried that once and and a frightening blitzkrieg of vaseline and midnight underpants dancing followed. For everyone’s safety, please just keep Nate Robinson and I’ll pretend I never read this report from Chris Sheridan. Ok? Ok, then.
Here is what the muse™ is thinking about this week:
A chin length bob would look cute on me right about now * [BOS 108, CHA 90] It may be too early to decide the Celtics are out of their slump and cut my hair — I mean we beat the Bobcats and they aren’t exactly the Lakers — but I’m going to throw caution to the wind and just go ahead and do it. How about my boy, Perk tonight, huh? I love when he has a good game. He’s such a smart player and hard worker that I really appreciate it when he’s successful. Shelden Williams continues to impress too. Baby who? (Just kidding, Glen. *winkys*)
De-fense. *clap clap clap* De-fense. * [PATRIOTS 17, SAINTS 38] Mmmm, yeah… The Patriots defense kind of blows, doesn’t it? Somewhere in Oakland, Richard Seymour is giggling to himself.
The college football coaching deadpool * Charlie Weis – shit-canned from Notre Dame
* Bobby Bowden – “retired” (ie. forced out) from FSU
* Mark Mangino – waiting to hear fate from Kansas
Tiger Woods, TMZ has it’s sights locked on you * This whole Tiger Woods saga is nuts. The only way it could be weirder is if Tiger was floating in the sky in a big tinfoil balloon. The story just doesn’t make sense. His wife happened to be outside with a golf club? What now? I can understand why he wants the whole thing to go away… I just hope he realizes that it isn’t going to. TMZ and their ilk are nightmarishly determined and they will never give up until they’ve chewed all the meat off the carcass. I have always admired the way that Hugh Grant handled that old “caught with a hooker” scandal. He just sheepishly marched his ass onto the Tonight Show or Letterman or wherever and threw himself on the mercy of the American public. And what happened? We all thought he was boyishly charming (like the character he plays in absolutely every movie he’s ever been in) and forgave him. Then again, maybe Tiger doesn’t have anything to confess to. Guess we’ll find out soon enough. The media is a relentless bitch. You can run, but you can’t hide.
Dear Spike Lee,
