nba musings

Thursday just can’t get here soon enough. I’m watching the WNBA for God’s sake. Sorry, that sounds sexist against my own gender doesn’t it? Sigh. Anyway, here is what the muse™ has been noodling on tonight…

The greatest breakdown of the 2010 NBA Free Agent Summit you will ever see
The always hilarious Doc Funk unveils the real pow-wow taking place between this off-season’s most coveted free agents. The Bosh cameos will have you ROTFL. [Brain on Funk: 2010 NBA Free Agent Summit]

Phil Jackson is dating a mysterious “Buzz”
My mom cracks me up. I’m convinced that if she was consistently funny enough, I’d have a million Twitter followers and my own book & sitcom. Alas, her pearls are generally few and far between, but they still slay me. Tonight she asked me, “Who is this Buzz they’re saying Phil Jackson is dating?” And I say, “Jeanie Buss?” And she’s all like, “Hmmm. No. They said Buzz.” Ok, now that I actually write it down it isn’t so funny. But, at the time… Big chuckles.

Speaking of the Jedi Mind Tricker
Everyone seems to be buzzing (no pun intended*) today about Phil Jackson playing his usual mind games — this time with the Celtics. I’m not exactly sure why any of what he said (basically that the Celtics have a smackdown mentality) qualifies as a mind game. He’s saying something anyone who watches the NBA already knows — including all of the NBA refs. This type of mind game will certainly work of course, if the point of the mind game is to hypnotize your opponent with the obvious. [Boston Globe: Jackson's mind tricks]

Lamar expecting a Baby Ruth? (<– candy pun)
Radar Online reports that Khlodom has a bun in the oven. [Radar Online: Khloe Kardashian 2 Months Pregnant]

What’s-his-face flirts with Cleveland
Tongues are wagging over King Crabdribble reportedly telling Larry King that the Cavaliers have the edge in signing him. Sweet Jesus, he’s a tease. I bet he has the ole Lebron-O-Meter bookmarked, just for giggles. [Fanhouse: LeBron James to Larry King: Cavs 'Have an Edge']

*Or was that pun intended? /jedi-mind-tricked

I’m back, motherf—ers!
* Boston.com: “But Garnett was not just grinning yesterday, following his first official practice since surgery. He was the gregarious, guffawing Garnett. Patellas and popliteus tendons were forgotten. Garnett trained at full speed, along with everyone else, through about three-quarters of the two-hour workout.” [Read the full article: Full speed ahead for Garnett]

Milk carton caption: Missing combo-guard
* Sigh, poor Delonte. I don’t know what’s going on, but for two straight days my Twitter feed has been full of “Delonte missed practice, unexcused” tweets.

Can we all just agree to ban track suits as wedding attire?
* Khlodom wed on Sunday as expected. The countdown to the inevitable “Lamar & Khloe still love & respect one another immensely, but grew apart due to their busy lifestyles” press release begins.

Wedding inspires Tush to run back to Bush
* Someone was supposed to send Reggie Bush my way when he and Kim K. called it quits several months ago. Unfortunately, he never showed up (aw, shucks) and sources say that after Khloe’s wedding (still wearing her purple “Mrs. & Mrs. Odom” track suit, by the by), Kim flew to NOLA to reunite with her former flame and now they’re back on like donkey kong.

Ok, now Steph has really gone insane
* Vibe reports that Steph went off on Jay-Z again via his 24/7 Starbury Plus channel on Justin TV. Sigh. I like Steph, but I’m not on board with the gay diss. He should know better than that. [Read the full article: Stephon Marbury Drops Another Jay-Z Diss]

Charles Barkley thinks you’re a loser
* During a recent interview with Dan Patrick, Charles Barkley expressed his disapproval towards social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook: ”I’m not a damn loser. I don’t Twitter. I think Twittering and all that Facebook crap … that just makes you a loser. I never said to myself, ‘I wonder what what’s his name is doing today.’” Haha, gotta love him. [Read full article: Barkley says Twitter is for losers, weighs in on T.O., Jordan]

From Star Magazine:

Exclusive: Khloe Kardashian’s Wedding Invite!

Is it just me or do those invites look like they were scrawled on paper lunch bags?

Related articles:

• Khloe and Lamar Celebrate with Bachelorette and Bachelor Bashes

Son of a bitch! Son – of – a – biiiiiiiitch!
* Dear Tom Brady, You do remember that losing is NOT an option, right? Especially when the other team has spent the week trash talking you and their head coach is a large buffoon?! Oh and your counterpart on the other side is an inexperienced rookie playing in only his 2nd regular season game. You are a Superbowl winning juggernaut. Act like it for the love of baby Bundchens and all that is holy. You only know WIN, you don’t know LOSE. Right? RIGHT? Your fans are VERY spoiled. Do not make us have to come down to earth and mill around in Mediocreville where other fans reside. I won’t have it. You hear me, mister?! Ok. I’m glad we had this talk. Now, get out there and massacre the competition from here on out! Chop chop! [boston.com - Some days are better than others]

Not the first sign of trouble actually
* Brian Windhorst provides a little more insight into the psyche of Delonte West. According to the article, West is bipolar and despite being wildly popular with both fans and his team, has had an erratic year. Cited are a few things I’d never heard, such as being late to multiple games — including a playoff game. Windhorst says the Cavs have thus far been extremely supportive, but wonders if they will have to draw the line at some point. [cleveland.com - Delonte West's firearms arrest another challenge for the Cleveland Cavaliers]

He needs a pet name. I dub him… “Big Buffoon”
* Michael Crabtree is still holding out on the San Fran 49ers and is now accusing the NY Jets of tampering. YAWN! I don’t really care about that crap. What I do think is interesting though, is Rex Ryan’s reaction when asked about it on ESPN’s Mike & Mike show. He called it “ridiculous” and said, “I wish we were playing them.” What now? You want to play them? That’s chutzpah! Actually, he’s exactly what those sorry ass Jets needed. They needed a guy like to roll into town, grab them by the scruff of the necks and yell into their faces, “Look you bunch of pantywaists, stand up to those bullies and don’t come back here unless you still have your damn lunch money!” I love it. Finally a team I hate worse than the Giants! [allheadlinenews.com - Jets' Coach Ryan Denies Tampering With Holdout Wideout Crabtree]

Khlodom marriage imminent?
* I know this is a stupid story and I keep reporting on it like it’s interesting, but to me, it really is fairly fascinating. When I’m not watching professional sports, I’m usually watching reality television on either Bravo or E! Sure, that might be lame, but you will rip the latest episode of The Rachel Zoe Project from my cold dead hands! Anyway, I am currently up-to-date on Khloe & Kourtney Take Miami on E! So I’m quite sure that I know way more than I should about the sisters Kardashian and their love lives. It always amazes me when people get married after knowing each other only a month or a few months. The odds of it working out forever are not good. Then again, most marriages these days don’t work out anyway, so I guess what the hell. Congrats to the future Mr. and Mrs. Khlodom! [FOXSports.com - Report: Odom engaged to Khloe Kardashian]

A shotgun? In a guitar case? WTF?
* What the hell is Cleveland doing to my beloved Delonte West? I blame YOU for this, LeBron! Word has it that the mercurial KFC fan was bombing down the street on a Can-Am Spyder motorcycle somewhere in Maryland when he wisely cut off an officer. D’oh! He was subsequently found to be packing some major heat — two loaded handguns and a loaded shotgun in a guitar case. A guitar case. And the legend continues… smh. More on this from ESPN/AP – Cavs’ West arrested in Maryland

They need a couples name. I dub them… Khlodom
* People magazine is reporting that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are already picking out wedding rings. Why the hell not? He’d be an easy man to cook for. Hey honey, you want the Skittles tonight or the Twizzlers? More on this whirlwind romance from People.com – Khloe Kardashian to Marry L.A. Lakers Player

Bouncing back
* NFL wide receiver (and Kendra baby daddy), Hank Baskett has landed on his feet after being kicked to the curb by the Philly Eagles. He’ll now be catching passes from Peyton Manning for the Indy Colts who needed a replacement after the team lost wide-out Anthony Gonzalez in a week 1 knee injury. Not a bad team to end up with, all things being equal. It’s not like getting traded to the Raiders or something. RIP Richard Seymour. More tidbits from USA Today – Hank Baskett, Playmate wife join Peyton Manning’s team

NBA fans, prepare for scab refs
* No Dick Bavetta? No Joey Crawford? What hell, you say? More on this from Yahoo! Sports – NBA to move ahead with replacement refs

New phenomenon – the Twitter feud
* So the latest Twitter feud is currently on-going and stars Jets bigmouth, Kerry Rhodes and former Patriot, Rodney Harrison. The gist is that Rodney called out Kerry for threatening to embarrass the Pats and more specifically for threatening to hit QB and patron saint, Tom Brady. They’re going back and forth barbing yet claiming to respect each other. Blah, blah, blah. Lets just cut to it. Clearly, Rodney is right. He’s a former Patriot and the other guy is a smelly NY Jet. There. Done.  More on this silly social media feud from WEEI - Kerry Rhodes and Rodney Harrison Engage in Twitter Battle