nba musings

So, the Celtics season ended just in time for me to witness Manny Ramirez’s triumphant return to Fenway. I was SO eager to see another Los Angeles team come skipping into town, let me tell you. I am the first to admit that I have major mixed feelings when it comes to Manny (like much of Red Sox nation). But, the mixed feelings would have to classified as 80% negative, 20% positive. Had I been at Fenway, I would have booed, no question about it. ESPN of course, was all over this story like Rachel Nichols on Brett Favre’s doorstep. Will the Red Sox fans cheer or boo? How will Manny be received? Will Manny be Manny?

From the moment the topic came up at the beginning of the weekend, I kept hearing (on the radio) or reading (on Twitter) that “real” fans can’t boo Manny and still claim the 2004 and 2007 championships. Um, huh? Really? What does one thing have to do with the other? I have to excuse his shiteous spoiled bratty dumbass behavior because he — oh I don’t know — DID HIS JOB in 2004 and 2007? Fuck that. That’s like saying it’s ok for my boyfriend to slap around now, if years ago, he bought me a mansion and a convertible. I don’t think winning past championships should buy anyone an “I can be an asshole” card. I agree that Red Sox management was partly to blame for Manny getting away with being Manny for so many years, but I’m not going to say they’re more to blame than he is. Somewhere along the line, he had a choice to make about whether he was going to be an arrogant spoiled prick or not and chose to be one. I’m not going to pretend it didn’t happen.

The emperor is naked. Boooooooooooooooooo!

Dear famous people,

Nobody gives a rat’s ass if you quit Twitter. While we’re on the subject, stop deleting your Twitter and then changing your mind and creating a new one. That’s stupid. Assuming anyone cares about you enough to follow you twice, it’s still an extra step that you shouldn’t force your fans to take. If you say something on Twitter that makes you sound like a nitwit, just realize that you can never get it back. You must live with it being “out there” like all the times you drunk dialed celebrities more famous than you from Paris Hilton’s Sidekick. If you do decide to leave though, just go away quietly. Don’t put out a press release or in any way advertise your departure… and for the motherfreakin love of James Posey and all that is holy, don’t produce a rap video about it.

No, I wasn’t following Miley Cyrus on Twitter because I’m not 12 years old. But, her stupid “Here’s why I quit Twitter” YouTube rap video did inspire this post.

Oh, you think I’m just lecturing celebrities about their Twitter habits to avoid discussing the double tragedy that took place last Sunday? Ok fine, you would be right.

R.I.P. 2009 Red Sox season.

Patriots still have a chance to get their shit together though. Come on, Tom Brady. Chop chop mister!

From the Ewww! files
* The New York Daily News is reporting that workers at an Arizona cryonics lab abused and mistreated Red Sox Hall of Famer Ted Williams’ frozen severed head by playing baseball with it. OMFG. Oh-Em-Eff-G! Who works at that horror show of a lab? Serial killers? Excuse me while I go vomit chunks. [AP/Boston.com: Report: Book says Ted Williams' head mistreated]

Brad Penny, still dead to me
* Last Wednesday, Brad Penny pitched his first complete game in 4 years. Despite the effort, the Giants were officially eliminated from the playoffs. Penny is a free agent next season and has not ruled out a return to the Giants. Either way, he is expected to stay in the National League. Surprise, surprise. [AP: Penny tosses gem, but Giants out of playoff hunt]

John Smoltz sucks weenies (still)
* In other “I was a big fat failure with the Red Sox” news, John Smoltz recently blamed his suck performance on his balls not being rubbed up enough. Then his Skipper accused the opposing pitcher of using pine tar to be able to keep a good grasp on his balls. Wow, that takes… um.. brass ones. [MLB.com: Arroyo denies pine tar accusation]

If you can’t believe a boozed out bisexual internet phenom, who can you believe?
* Depending on who you believe, Tila Tequila was either choked out and unlawfully restrained by “boyfriend,” Shawne Merriman – or – respectfully detained by an “acquaintance” only interested in keeping her from driving while intoxicated. More on this tawdry tale… Shawne Merriman’s lawyer: LB was seeking ride for ‘extremely intoxicated’ Tila Tequila | NFL’s Merriman accused of choking girlfriend Tila Tequila

Slick Rick
* Rick Fox is joining Melrose Place. And the jokes will clearly just write themselves.

He said, he said
* While I was away from blogdom and Twitterdom, there was a sad and tragic breakup! Ashton & Demi? No, worse! Steph and Mooncricket!! Noooooo! What the heck happened? I can only imagine. Amusingly though, the two decided to take to their respective Twitters to air it out. From what I can gather, Mooncricket got pissed about something and left casa de Starbury. Steph then implored him to come back or at least pick up the phone and call him. Alas though, it appears to be over. Oh the humanity!

Beckett bites the big one (No! I will NOT say, “pause.” That is stupid. STUPID!, I say.)
* My boyfriend, Josh Beckett, appears to be in the midst of a tragic slump. I tried to watch today’s game (CWS 5, BOS 1), but just couldn’t do it. The Josh Beckett that I know and love, rips opposing hitters’ hearts out, throws them to the ground and spits on them. I don’t want to remember him any other way.

A watched kettle finally boils
* Finally! Marquis Daniels signs on the dotted line. I like what I’m hearing from him so far: “Not many people get a chance to play with Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Rasheed Wallace. It’s a good opportunity and I’ll worry about the money later. Right now we have to worry about one thing, and that’s winning the championship this season.” Sounds like a smart guy to me. Now, lets get this season started! I’m tired of waiting. This off-season has been WAY TOO LONG! More from Boston.com: Celtics get their man

ps. Brad Penny sucks weenies
* Don’t you just love it when a guy loses games for you all season long, then gets released and pitches gems for their new team? You don’t? Yeah, me either. Suck it, Brad Penny!!

^ I won’t miss these god awful puns… at all! ^

Say it ain’t so, Ocho
* He’ll be back. Like a moth to the flame…

I’m 5’4″ and I could probably guard J.J. Redick
* In an article in today’s WaPo, Washington Redskins star, DeAngelo Hall brags about shutting down J.J. Redick back in their AAU days about 10 years ago. Hilariously, he seems to think this was a great accomplishment. I hate to break it to him, but an egg salad sandwich could have guarded J.J. provided it had its running shoes on to chase him around screens all night. I can see if he beat Kobe one-on-one or something, but come on now. What’s next? Boasting about beating his grandma at Wii? Full article: Hall Claims He Gave J.J. Redick ‘That Work’

Personally, I think picking your favorite Yankee is like choosing a favorite turd, but that’s just me
* Mike Lupica thinks Derek Jeter is having a “season for the ages.” Puke. No, I have nothing else to say on the subject. I’m mainly posting this to compare Yankees to turds. Carry on. [H/T Deadspin] Full article: Yankees captain Derek Jeter having season for ages at 35

You mean Shaq isn’t really the lovable baffoon we all think he is? What hell, you say?
* The Arizona Republic’s Dan Bickley takes on the Big Shaqtus and has a word of warning for the city of Cleveland about welcoming a guy who hasn’t exactly ever embraced the sidekick role with open arms over the years. Even though some of this comes off as a personal attack born from sour grapes, I still found it insightful. Shaq definitely has a way of wiping away all past sins with his sense of humor and charisma. Full article: Bickley: Cleveland, beware of Shaq the Hack

Last, but certainly not least…
* Happy 75th Birthday, Tommy Heinsohn! More love for Tommy: CelticsBlog, LOY’s Place

Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out (and take all those horrid penny puns with you!)
* The Associated Press is reporting that Tim Wakefield will take over Brad Penny’s spot in the Red Sox rotation starting Wednesday night against the Chicago White Sox. Penny upchucked last night’s game against the New York Yankees in grand fashion, which was the icing on the cake of a really putrid tenure for him with the team. I really don’t see how the Smoltz/Penny 2009 era could be viewed as anything less than an unmitigated disaster. With both of them finally out of the picture, maybe the Red Sox have a chance to get back on track. When I think back on Penny’s time here, even more than the horror show that was last night’s loss to Satan’s baseball team, I will remember this gem of a conversation I had with my mother about him early in the season: 

Mom: Where the hell did this Henny Penny come from?
Me: I don’t know. Last I remember, he was pitching for some California team and dating Alyssa Milano.
Mom: That doesn’t narrow it down.

Ha. When you’re right, you’re right.

Adios, Brad. I hope.

He said, she said
* Out of the corner of my ear last night while I was playing another rousing round of Cake Mania 2 on the computer, I heard the following coming out of my television set: “Rick Pitino has admitted to having sex with the woman in a restaurant and paying for her abortion.” Wow. Now that my friends, is class. Before you come down too hard on poor Rick, just remember that, “All the negativity that’s in this town sucks!” More on this sordid tale can be gleaned here: Boston Globe: Pitino had liaison and paid for abortion

Sounds like an episode of The Hills…
* This story has been baking a few days, but apparently Reggie Miller and Diana Von Furstenberg’s son, Alex are having some sort of public tiff over a babe. News and gossip sites report that Von Furstenberg hired a sky writer to call out Miller for texting his fiance. The banner read, “Reggie Miller stop pursuing married women.” A sky writer? Really? That’s so archaic. Everyone knows the only modern way to get back at someone flirting with your girl is to open a faux Twitter account impersonating them and then write things like, “I flrt w/other ppls chix cuz im a d-bag. Whuts gud?” So come on Alex, crawl out of the 16th century and get with the times. More on this soap opera: TMZ: Reggie Miller — I’m No Homewrecker, Just a Flirt

The ghost of old man Zimmer
* I didn’t watch last night’s Red Sox/Tigers game, but I knew something happened when I briefly perused my Twitter stream and people were squawking about Youk getting ejected. Then this morning, the radio honks were making fun of him, so I had to check it out for myself on YouTube. Upon watching it, I immediately had flashbacks of Pedro “gently guiding” Don Zimmer to the turf back in the good ole days. Aw, now those were some seriously good times. In this case though, come on now Youk… you’re three times that kid’s size, you look like the Incredible Hulk and you’ll be getting suspended anyway, you couldn’t have just laid him out? Tsk tsk tsk.

ps. It’s official. Leon has joined the Cavs. I will not belabor this any longer with yet another whiny post. Farewell, my love…

So, what you’re really saying is that I’m going to have to listen to diaper and pacifer jokes for another two years?
*  Ah well, I guess he’s worth it. Welcome back to beantown, BBD.

The Boston Globe reports:

The Celtics are expected to announce the signing of free agent forward Glen Davis to a contract, and have scheduled a press conference for 11:30 a.m. Monday.

Davis, a restricted free agent, agreed to a two-year contract during weekend negotiations.

What else is new?
* The Red Sox choked up a 4-game series to Satan’s spawn. I had no idea I was following so many damn Yankees fans on Twitter until this weekend. Most of them are pretty cool which makes it that much worse. Rotten bastards.  My mom tried to tell me the Sox were starting to suck about a month ago and I called her chicken little and told her to chill out. I hate it when she’s right! I blame Dice-K. No wait, J.D. Drew… Unless no – it’s Papi’s fault or that damn Bucholtz, no it’s… oh blah. 

Back like a bad penny
* Ben Wallace is returning to the Detroit Pistons for the veteran’s minimum. BDL’s Kelly Dwyer breaks it down…

Perk is betrothed
* Perk married his baby mama! From Boston.com:

The Celtics center got hitched in Houston over the weekend to his longtime girlfriend Vanity. Wedding guests included teammates Rajon Rondo and Leon Powe, and former men in green Ricky Davis and Patrick O’Bryant.

There are some great pictures at LOY’s Place if you want to check them out. Perk is even smiling, which shocks most everybody but me. I saw him smile huge once talking about his baby boy. I knew he had it in him.

Manny’s bobblehead to reporters: This is my town (until I join the Yankees someday)
* Apparently the Dodgers’ recent “Manny Bobblehead Night” did not go off without a hitch. From MercuryNews.com:

The Dodgers are still the major leagues’ best team and Manny Ramirez is still the star attraction, but this season will continue to contain its odd moments. For instance, Wednesday night. It was Manny bobblehead night at Dodger Stadium. But the initial sponsor, Kaiser Permanente, had to pull out because of that icky little steroid/female fertility thing.

In grand ole Manny fashion though, he got the last word. Despite initially sitting out with injury, he went in to pinch hit and ended up drilling a grand slam home run right to his faithful flock in the Mannywood section. Oh Manny…

Daniels to join the Celtics, someday… I think…
* I realize I have yet to post about Marquis Daniels joining the Celtics. There are a few reasons for this. The main reason is that I have absolutely no idea when/if he’s coming on board. I’m not super interested in players who “might” join the Celtics. Until they actually show up at the presser and hold up their jersey, I’m kind of meh.

Brett Favre, Attention Whore (It’s on the business card)
* This just in… Brett Favre has informed the Minnesota Vikings (and Rachel Nichols, his BFF) that he is going to remain retired. (pause) Except… I just read this tweet from Rich Eisen:

Stop the insanity!

Hmmm, now that I think of it, maybe Starbury’s boy Mooncricket could set up Favre with his own 24/7 Justin.tv channel.

Hey Reggie, call me
* Also recently just in… Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush bit the dust couple-wise. YES! Reggie Bush, back on the market. Be still my heart. Tony Romo apparently also tossed Jessica Simpson into the bedpost notch deadpool – on the eve of her 29th birthday no less. It’s like Logan’s Run! “Umm, Jess… You’re almost 30. An NFL QB like me has a short window of time where he can score the grade A tail. I’ve gotta toss you like a Domino’s pizza, sorry… Oh yeah, and you can’t come over anymore! I’m putting up a sign — persona non grata!”

Show me your number ones! Show me your number ones! Clap seal, clap!
* Speaking of StarburyTV, what kind of shenanigans are going on at Stephon Marbury’s house today? I don’t know… I can’t watch it at work (probably for the best), but when I checked it around 7pm tonight, this random dude was dancing in front of the camera telling the viewers to show him their number 1s. I had to call bullshit on this. It’s bad enough when Steph goes apeshit and demands number 1s like we’re all a bunch of trained f-king seals, but I’ll be damned if any old douchebag gets to jump on his camera and do it. C’mon Steph, we need standards and practices, babe.

Who is this dude?

If you’re interested, be my guest… but be prepared to throw your number 1s, number 2s, numbers 3s or to keep it 100. Love is love, Daddy.

Ok, I’m not gonna lie. I always cringed a little bit when balls were hit in Julio Lugo’s direction. On some days, perhaps after a beer or two, I even cursed his name and shook my fist at the television. My mom and I often lamented about what a shitty shortstop he was. She liked to remind me of an interview he did after the Red Sox won the 2007 world series, when according to her, he said, “This makes me the best shortstop in baseball!” She’d say, “Best shortstop, my ass!”

Fast forward to yesterday when she was watching NESN and they announced Julio Lugo was being designated for assignment and she heard some of these comments from Theo Epstein:

“A sunk cost is a sunk cost. We’re sorry it didn’t work out better with Julio, obviously. But keeping him on the team wasn’t going to change that. Sometimes the best organizations admit their mistakes and they move on. And that’s what we’re doing here.

“This was one of the free agent signings that doesn’t work out. We were paying for past performance, not current performance. That’s the true definition of a mistake, and, as the decision-maker, that’s on me. We’ll just move on and be a better organization having gone through it, and we’ll make better decisions going forward.’’

Ouch.

I walk into the room and she says, “Can you believe they’re treating Julio this way? That is just downright awful!” I had to laugh at her changing her tune on a dime like that, but ultimately I have to agree with her. Did he work out the way the organization and fans expected? No, obviously not. But, I’m pretty sure he was trying and ultimately, I would rather have a guy try hard and suck, than act like a dumbass like Manny and succeed. Mmmm, that doesn’t sound right does it? Well, can’t we just have a happy medium? Oh well, either way, I think once you kick a guy off the team and run him out of town, it really isn’t necessary to flip the duck boat in reverse and back up over his carcass a few times. A little harsh Theo. A little harsh.

Related news:

• Boston.com: Seeing error of ways, Sox designate Lugo
• MLB.com: Lugo does not make trip to Toronto