nba musings » big shaqtus

i know what this blog needs… more j.j. redick! (and other musings)

michelle — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 02:11:49 +0000

I’m 5′4″ and I could probably guard J.J. Redick
* In an article in today’s WaPo, Washington Redskins star, DeAngelo Hall brags about shutting down J.J. Redick back in their AAU days about 10 years ago. Hilariously, he seems to think this was a great accomplishment. I hate to break it to him, but an egg salad sandwich could have guarded J.J. provided it had its running shoes on to chase him around screens all night. I can see if he beat Kobe one-on-one or something, but come on now. What’s next? Boasting about beating his grandma at Wii? Full article: Hall Claims He Gave J.J. Redick ‘That Work’

Personally, I think picking your favorite Yankee is like choosing a favorite turd, but that’s just me
* Mike Lupica thinks Derek Jeter is having a “season for the ages.” Puke. No, I have nothing else to say on the subject. I’m mainly posting this to compare Yankees to turds. Carry on. [H/T Deadspin] Full article: Yankees captain Derek Jeter having season for ages at 35

You mean Shaq isn’t really the lovable baffoon we all think he is? What hell, you say?
* The Arizona Republic’s Dan Bickley takes on the Big Shaqtus and has a word of warning for the city of Cleveland about welcoming a guy who hasn’t exactly ever embraced the sidekick role with open arms over the years. Even though some of this comes off as a personal attack born from sour grapes, I still found it insightful. Shaq definitely has a way of wiping away all past sins with his sense of humor and charisma. Full article: Bickley: Cleveland, beware of Shaq the Hack

Last, but certainly not least…
* Happy 75th Birthday, Tommy Heinsohn! More love for Tommy: CelticsBlog, LOY’s Place

the big tweeter is a thief? (and other musings)

michelle — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:28:19 +0000

I think I’m going to pitch an idea to FOX for a reality show singing competition
* If this story really played out as reported, Shaq has some extra large sized cajones. I can only imagine that in his own head he heard the idea and said to himself: “Great idea. But, nobody wants to see whimpy Steve Nash take on the world’s greatest athletes. He’s Canadian and not the least bit quotatious. Only a shaqalicious-sized megastar could pull off a show like this. I think I’ll steal it. Mwahahaha.” The Arizona Republic has all the dirty details in: Shaq’s behind-the-back move

Blogger news
* @docfunk not only has the funniest one-liners I’ve ever read on Twitter, but has also recently joined Washington Wizards based blog, Truth About It. Check out the inaugural post in: More Juice Please: Why Butler Should Shoot As Much As Arenas

Like a cat walking on its hind legs and other improbabilities
* I love me some Ochocinco, but who the hell does he think he is kicking PATs against my beloved New England Patriots? Tsk, tsk, tsk! Apparently ole Ocho fancies himself a soccer player. More about that from The Boston Globe in: Ochocinco gets kick out of win

listen up, danny ainge

michelle — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:03:16 +0000

I really wish Danny Ainge would shut his piehole. I was confused for a little while about what the hell was going on with all these Rondo trade rumors and now I’m more convinced than ever that Danny is just trying to put the Celtics in the best position to re-sign Rondo without having to pay him what he’s going to inevitably ask for. It reminds me a little too much of how he handled KG’s injury and a comment he made about how the office was trying to be like Belichick.

Bitch, please.

Danny, I served with Bill Belichick: I knew Bill Belichick; Bill Belichick was a friend of mine. Danny Ainge, you’re no Bill Belichick.

In other news, the Celtics haven’t made any big moves yet (unless you count drafting some kid last night with the 58th pick), but the Cavs and the Magic sure did. Vince Carter, huh? Answer me this Orlando, if Vince falls on the ground and clutches his hammy, whatcha gonna do? a.) run over and help him; b.) act like he’s dead to you and follow the action down the other end of the court; c) wait for him or Dwight Howard to yell, “Chuck! Aaaaargh!”?

Shaq to Cleveland will be interesting to watch. Shaq is entertaining, but I’m beginning to think he has a big screw loose. During last night’s draft, he said that he and LeBron were having “mental conversations.” What the hell? Bizarre shit. Just sayin.

For more of my thoughts on the Shaq trade, visit The No-Look Pass blog. The blog’s head honcho, Rey-Rey, interviewed me and three other “chicks who love hoops.” Check it out… (For the record, I only throw remote controls at Tarheel fans… and my mom sometimes… because she’s a Tarheel fan. Go Blue Devils.)

nba musings: lakers in 5

michelle — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:49:37 +0000

NBA Finals Game 5
Lakers @ Magic 99-86

I was afraid, but not surprised, that this would be a short series. Kobe and Co. wanted this bad and the Magic just weren’t ready. A few thoughts, bullet-style:

It amazes me how pundits continue to put words in Kobe’s mouth. This morning, I heard a morning show honk say that, “Kobe said he was so relieved to finally prove that he could win without Shaq!” Um no. That’s not what he said. He said, and I’m paraphrasing here, that he’s relieved that idiots would finally have to stop asking him about winning a title without Shaq. That’s two different things.
As brilliant as Kobe was during the finals, I’m surprised more wasn’t made about Trevor Ariza’s contribution. He was major.
I heard Magic championship gear was not even produced. That’s cold. Usually gear from the losing team gets produced and then shipped to a third world country. I do believe there are some poor children on the other side of the world wearing 2008 New England Patriots gear. Ouch.
I feel bad for Adam Morrison. He was horribly overrated coming out of college, but that’s not his fault. Blame a weak ass draft class. Everybody’s making a big deal about him getting a ring while sitting on the bench in a suit, but what’s he supposed to do? He’s not the first guy to get a ring without making much of a contribution *cough Scot Pollard cough*. It happens all the time.
What was up with Shaq tweeting his head off last night after the game? Sample: “Congratualtions [sic] kobe, u deserve it. You played great . Enjoy it my man enjoy it. And I know what yur sayin rt now “Shaq how my ass taste”You know. Somehow, I really don’t think Kobe was saying that. I think Kobe wants to win the championship every year and it has nothing to do with Shaq. In fact, he probably has a hard time playing checkers with his daughters without yelling, “In your face!” at them. He’s that competitive.
Dwight Howard tweeted, “[...]kobe congrats. u inspired me.” I hope Kobe did inspire Dwight. I think Dwight needs to develop the one thing Patrick Ewing probably can’t help him with, his head. He needs a healthy dose of killer instinct.
I’m really REALLY really going to miss the NBA season. Even though this season didn’t end the way I wanted it to, it was a lot of fun. I’m going to try to find something to keep blogging about so my site doesn’t turn into a rotting cadaver of stale posts… maybe I’ll have to start caring about the draft now.

nba sunday

michelle — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:59:50 +0000

Major snowstorm today. Pretty cool actually because they canceled work. Yes!

So yesterday (like all my favorite Sundays) was one long series of NBA games. Two on ABC and the final one on ESPN. Then I watched all Hefner’s babes move out on him on The Girls Next Door. Here are my thoughts on those games:

1. Pistons @ Celtics – I’m not mad that the Pistons beat the Celtics. Well, that’s not true. I was kind of mad about losing on our home court. That blows. But, these are the dog days and losses are inevitable, so I’m not going to lose sleep over this loss or anything. However, I think it’s highly suspicious that the minute AI is out of the picture (bad back, pouting, what-ev) the team suddenly comes to life and plays like the old Pistons. Actually, I don’t blame them. I would probably handle that situation the same way. The whole “flip the switch” thing is getting a little old though. They aren’t the only ones “suddenly” coming to life though, which brings me to…

2. Lakers @ Suns – The Suns are another team that suddenly got their groove back once they got their way. And again, I don’t blame them. I have sympathy for losing your coach and beloved teammates. You know who doesn’t sympathize though? Jeff Van Gundy. Holy smokes, every chance he gets, he rips the team for laying down on Terry Porter and getting him fired. He has a point too, but I don’t blame the team for Porter’s predicament. It’s got to go on Steve Kerr and the owners. Oh yeah, the game. Well, the Suns held on and won. Shaq looked fantastic. The Lakers went on a couple of runs and there were a few typical amazing plays out of Kobe Bryant that made me go, “Whoa. Not fair.”

3. Cavs @ Hawks – Ended up watching this one very sporadically, but I did see the end. Holy drama. Tied with only a teeny tiny bit of time on the clock and Lebron on the line. Misses the first shot. Makes the second. Johnson misses the go-ahead bucket. Fin. I actually like the Cavs a lot more than the Hawks, but my Celtics loyalty forced me to want the Hawks to win to help our home court situation.

Oh yeah, and not long ago we lost to the Clippers. Mmmm, yeah.

celtics afterthoughts: denmark is rotten

michelle — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:05:04 +0000

Celtics v. Pistons 98-80

There’s something rotten in Denmark when I have to worry more about the Celtics playing the Hawks than the Pistons. The Celtics seem to have the Pistons number though. I would’ve expected this game to be a lot closer, but it was pretty much over about halfway through. It would’ve been nice if the Pistons would’ve just conceded the win to the C’s so we could start the Lakers/Suns game early… then I would’ve actually been able to watch it.

shaq flings people like ragdolls

michelle — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 14:11:33 +0000

I know in Internet terms that this video is ancient, but I just love it so… The Big Shaqtus enters the fray and just starts flinging grown men around like ragdolls. Good times, good times.

chillin like a villain

michelle — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:31:25 +0000

Hmmm, chillin like a villain. Does anyone still say that? I guess I do.

Currently watching the NBA Draft Special on ESPN2. I seriously love Jay Bilas. Ok fine, I love Duke. Worse than that, I love Duke because of J.J. Redick. *ducking* Say what you will about J.J. and I’ve heard it all, but he was an assassin in his time. No, not an asshole – an assassin. See, I can read your mind. Scary huh? Everybody (save a few Crazies) hates Duke, I get that, but I’m not everybody. I could care less how unpopular my sports teams are. You can’t be a Patriots fan and be thin skinned.

Random thoughts… –I can’t get enough of this Shaq diss rap crap. It’s incredibly entertaining. Oh and ps, but I hope Kobe (or anyone else) doesn’t ever find out how Shaq’s ass tastes. Ewww. I guess I shouldn’t judge. Maybe you’re into that sort of thing. –Justin Masterson is impressive. The Sox have a great farm system. –I miss the NBA already. Thank goodness for draft coverage. The off-season is going to kill me though. Especially since I don’t even get NBA-TV. What kind of god-awful digital cable includes the NFL Network and doesn’t offer NBA-TV? Mine! Boo! –This may have been said already, but is it just me or does Bulls head coach Vinny del Negro bear a striking resemblance to Luke Wilson? –Update, Red Sox pull out a win against the Diamondbacks! Hot damn! Happy Jerry Remy Night to all!

the red sox are obviously trying to kill me

michelle — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:47:07 +0000

Gah. While I’m a big Red Sox fan, I’m not much of a baseball fan per se. I have a picture of myself from when I was ten taken at Fenway in front of a group of players. I’m pretty sure that was the last time I was actually at Fenway Park in person. Since then, I’ve watched periodically on television depending on what time of the year it is. Anyway, yesterday’s game was apeshit. 13 innings? Thanks be to Youk for the put-us-out-of-our-misery homer. I thought that game would never end. It was like slooooow torture. The game the day before was worse though. Dice-K couldn’t even get out of the 2nd inning. Sweet baby jesus.

Shaq’s diss rap at Kobe… Wowwww. Just wow. Expect the Mamba to drop 100 points on the Suns next season. I am so not exaggerating either. Expect like a 100 point game. I would imagine he’s that pissed. I used to be on Shaq’s “side” in his beef with Kobe, but I lost respect for him this past season when he threw his D-League team members from Miami under the bus. I’m still pretty annoyed that he’s stinking up the Suns roster with his presence because I love the Suns. Now I have to say, “…the Suns who I love, oh except for Shaq.” Blah.