nba musings

Here is what the muse™ is noodling on right now:

Sadly, I have to agree with Ron Artest
* Apparently somewhere, sometime in the not-so-distant past, Doc Rivers said that the Lakers have never beaten the Celtics starting five. I heard that and was surprised that Doc would go there. I suppose technically he’s right, but the statement is neither here nor there and certainly doesn’t diminish the Lakers’ accomplishments. Anyway, Ron Artest took umbrage and spouted off about Doc on his Twitter feed. Sadly, I have to agree with him. Damn you Doc, don’t put me in this position!

Rondo’s convenient ‘family problems’
* Here is the order of events: Rondo gets a DNP-CD, Rondo remarks that he’ll probably be the final Team USA cut, Rondo withdraws from Team USA because of ‘family problems’. Fishy timing. But oh well, selfishly I’m glad he got cut/quit because this way he’ll be more rested for the upcoming season. Though technically speaking if they do what they did last year, they’ll rest all season anyway. Bah dump dump *cymbols* thank you, I’ll be here all week, don’t forget to tip the waitstaff…

OH MY GAWD, THAT’S A FOUL!!!!
* Happy birthday, Tommy Heinsohn! Damn it, I miss Tommy. Could the off-season end already, please? I’m bored and reduced to watching dogcrap TV like Dark Blue on TNT. *shiver* It’s not right. [Update: A little Twitter birdy informs that it is also Stan Van Gundy's birthday today too. Someone giftwrap that man a three-quarter sleeve black crewneck, stat!]

I’m sure it was just a little ‘love squeeze’
* So, a couple days ago I read that the Nuggets are trying to move J.R. Smith. Blasphemy! Then the next day, I heard that he kinda, sorta, might have… choked someone a little. Oopsy. Tsk tsk. Oh J.R., people already question my integrity for loving you so much. Why you gotta go Sprewell some dude? Behave! Sigh.

Looks like Jesus, acts like…
* The Tigers placed Johnny Traitorface Damon on waivers and the Red Sox claimed him, so for a day or so my local radio was bloated with “Johnny’s coming back, baby!” talk. I didn’t think it would actually happen, but it was amusing to think about. He blocked the potential shenanigans with his no-trade clause claiming that he just loves Detroit like a long lost play cousin. Yeah, riiiiight.

Woooooow
* Damn, why did I wait so long to watch the Glen Davis “Dougie” video? It’s ah-may-ZING-ly hypnotizing. *holding up a lighter, swaying side to side*

Well, there are a myriad of reasons why I love him, but here’s one from last weekend’s Nuggets/Spurs game:

Half-time interviewer: Why the slow start?*
JR: Well, this is an early game and I missed my nap today.
My mom: Did he just say he missed his NAP?
Me: God I love him.

*paraphrased conversation

Ok, so I know prison does some interesting things to people. Sometimes they find God. Sometimes they find inner peace. Sometimes they just get super buff and come out with some interesting “stories” to tell. I’m down with all that. Whatever works. To each his own. But, you know… I just can’t get behind this interesting bit of news: J.R. Smith no longer wants to be called, J.R. He wants to be called… *drumroll*… Earl.

Um, no.

I’m sorry if that’s your given name, but I’m just flat out saying that this isn’t going to happen.

The only names I will authorize are the following: J.R. (an oldie, but a goodie), Smitty (holla! JVGisHipHop) or my personal favorite, Golden God.

Ok? Ok, then.

Clearly I missed the memo
* I was perusing this article on BDL about LeBron and did a full on “wha wha WHAT?!” head spin when I saw the part about J.R. Smith being back on Twitter! I practically got whiplash hauling ass to Twitter to hit the follow button! Hurray yay yay YAY! Did I mention that I like eccentric people? Oh I did? Never mind, then.

Source: http://twitter.com/JRSwish5

What’s good? J.R. Smith on Twitter, baby. That’s what’s good!

I swear, people left and right are trying to ruin Twitter. First, the Denver Post prints some story about J.R. Smith supposedly using gang signs on his Twitter. Yes, you heard that right. Gang signs. On his Twitter. How the hell does one accomplish THAT? By the end of the day *poof* J.R.’s Twitter is dead as disco. This royally frosts my cupcakes. Why? Because J.R. Smith is was priceless on Twitter. Simply priceless. If I had known this debacle was coming down today I would have at least taken a commemorative screen shot of his page or something. Instead, I’m stuck with this empty J.R.less existence. Not cool, Denver Post. Not cool.

Then, Ric Bucher (@RicBucher) shared the news (while still having balls enough to do so, I might add) that ESPN dropped the hammer. The hammer being a memo to their employees – including on-air personalities — that essentially seeks to cut them off at the knees in terms of what they can and can’t tweet about.

Source: http://twitter.com/RicBucher/status/3132468169

Unless it “serves” ESPN? Wha wha what?! The Worldwide Leader getting all, “I’m your master” on people. That just makes me queasy.

I realize there have to be some standards and practices. Hell, Chad Ochocinco (wait, is it “Ocho Cinco” or “Ochocinco”? Meh. F- it.) posted pictures of the Bengals’ drug test piss cups today on Twitpic. That can’t be kosher.

I commend Chad for giving fans inside access, but this might have been just a tad over the line. Just a tad.

Source: http://twitter.com/OGOchoCinco/status/3124716428

I guess we can be happy he didn’t decide we needed to see him actually pee in the cup. Aye yie yie.

Source: http://twitpic.com/cqlbd
From this tweet: http://twitter.com/OGOchoCinco/status/3124748206

So, I get it that at some point you have to create some guidelines, but ESPN and their ilk need to understand that the allure of Twitter for many people is the unfiltered access to insiders that it allows. Turn all of your associated Twitter accounts into PR machines vomiting press releases all day and just watch the follower counts drop like a lead balloon.

There has to be a happy medium. While ESPN mulls over just what that is, I hope they keep this in mind: Don’t ruin our fun!

ps. Looks like some NFL teams are cracking down. Thankfully the Bengals are not one of them!

Playoffs Game 6
Lakers @ Nuggets 119-92

Yeah. That blog title has nothing to do with last night’s game. It’s a quote from Sixteen Candles. But, who cares. If the Nuggets weren’t going to show up, I’m not sure why I bothered to. Why should I take the time to think of appropriate blog title if Carmelo Anthony thinks he did absolutely everything he could have done in last night’s game? Or if George Karl says that this season was a big success — right after his team got their asses handed to them on their home floor? (See post-game presser.) Why do I even care? I’m a Celtics fan. I guess I care because I was starting to really like the Nuggets. What’s not to like? They’re entertaining, they’re talented, they’re exciting… Well, unfortunately they’re also classic underachievers with a losers mentality. It’s like watching a kid in high school who just settles for C grades most of the time because it’s easy to get them. Once in awhile they study hard and get a B or an A, and exceed your expectations, but the good grades just don’t last when the going gets tough. The one lone shining star last night was the last guy you might expect. Smitty. Yes, you heard me. JR freaking Smith was the only guy out there who deserved an A. If it wasn’t for him, they’d have lost by 40.

I’m most disappointed in Carmelo Anthony. His post-game comments really say it all. Someone asked him about his own performance or lack thereof during the game and he’s like, “What did I do? I did all I could.” He just doesn’t take responsibility for his team’s lack of success. Leaders do that, whether they’re at fault or not. Hell, even Tracy McGrady gets up there and says if they don’t advance, it’s on him. Sure, they didn’t advance… but at least he was willing to take the responsibility on himself publicly. I’ve been watching Melo since Syracuse and I’ve wanted to like hell to rank him as one of my favorite players, but I just can’t. He just keeps letting me down. I know they advanced further than they usually do, but that shouldn’t be good enough. Nothing short of a ring should ever be good enough. If your players are healthy and you have the talent, you should be in the finals. Now I will give you that it would’ve been almost impossible to beat the Lakers at Staples considering the Lakers are healthy and talented themselves — but the point is that they should’ve at least gotten to Staples. But, they gave up. You don’t lose by 27 without giving up. Again, I’m a Celtics fan, so they didn’t owe me anything… but all those fans that showed up in the fauxhawks and Chris Andersen jerseys? They deserved better.

I’m pretty sure I love me some JR Smith. I can’t help it. After last night, a star is born.

Please to enjoy… a retrospective in pictures:

I

AM

A

GOLDEN

GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Playoffs Game 4
Lakers @ Nuggets 101-120

This blowout didn’t surprise me at all. The Nuggets needed to win this game and the Lakers (deep down inside) knew they had already accomplished what they came to Denver to do — steal one back. So, the Nuggets came out with insane amounts of energy and drive and the Lakers came out flat. Highlights of the night:

1. They kept showing Chris Andersen without his hair gel doing these memorial day spots thanking the men in uniform. It was freaking me out. Then they aired an interview with him during half-time without the hair gel and I got to hear his voice for the first time. It was unsettling. He has a great story and I love him, but I don’t ever want to see or hear him off the court again. It’s like seeing that Oz is just a nebbish dude behind a curtain. I want to think of my Birdman as the magestic beauty he is… and not like some guy who works in a country western bar.
2. Dahntay Jones blatantly tripped Kobe Bryant. Ha! It reminded me of 3rd grade. I love Dahntay Jones (Duke alum!) and I don’t love Kobe Bryant, but that was pretty stupid. It reminded me of when I first started watching the NBA in earnest a few years ago and Raja Bell blatantly clotheslined Kobe. I think he just brings that out in his defenders. They can’t stop him so eventually they have to resort to hanging and tripping him. Someday someone’s just going to grab the leg off a picnic table…
3. JVG was on fire last night. At one point he started calling JR Smith, “Smitty” and it was glorious. Speaking of which…
4. JR Smith. Smitty. Oh man. How do I love thee. Let me count the ways. You really have to admire a guy like JR. Nobody enjoys JR’s success more than JR. I imagine if you listened in while he’s shaving in the morning, it would go a little something like this: “JR, you handsome bastard… how will you conquer and impress the world today? I love you. No, I love you! No, no… seriously. I love YOU.”

Related videos from YouTube:

JR dunks and then colorfully explains just where the Lakers are playing…

Source: YouTube/NBAErik

JR nails a 3 pointer and then ‘walks it out’…

Source: YouTube/URBANREUP

Chris Birdman Andersen half-time interview…

Source: YouTube/cubanofrv