nba musings

Last night was epic. There were so many outstanding moments that I just have to document them so I can check back on this post a year from now and chuckle again. Without further ado, here are the highlights:

1. Pre-draft lottery drawing, New Jersey Nets owner announces intention to burglarize New York:

Zee? It vill be zimple. (Also, I decided dude’s name was too hard to spell, so I’ve dubbed him “Pornocough.”)

2. During draft lottery, Danny Granger makes it clear that he lacks a poker face:

Credit: Image from the amazing @jose3030′s Twitpic gallery

I couldn’t find a clip on YouTube showing Granger’s reaction when the Pacers pick was selected, but it was awesome. He carried on like he just found out he was going to have to eat nothing but turd sandwiches for the rest of his life.

For more lottery fun, check out Doc Funk’s Draft Lottery Captions…

3. During the game, this happens:

[There was a YouTube video here of Paul Pierce getting decked during the game. The man must've put the kibosh on the video due to copyright issues.]

Cue the wheelchair jokes on Twitter! So original.

4. Not exactly malice at the palace, but… NBA referee scraps with fan:

5. Dwight tries to plead his case to Stan, who has a classic reaction to it:

Credit: Another @jose3030 masterpiece. Click pic to see the hi quality GIF.

6. Post-game interview, The Truth gives the fans a little wink:

Paul Pierce, you sexy bastard, getting all winky. *wolf whistle*

7. Then tweets a bunch of shit via telepathy and reporters pass it on to Dwight Howard as fact:

Ok, I get that he got bad information and was thrown off-guard by the supposed diss, but still… It’s only two games, huh? You mean the first two? On your home court? Those two? Well, Superman wears Paul Pierce pajamas. Zing!   

I’m sure there were more great moments that I can’t remember right now. If I think of them, I’ll update the post. But, all in all last night has to be one of my favorite NBA nights of this or any season. Well, maybe not as great as transcribing Steph’s crazy rantings for 14-15 hours straight… what could top that?

I had to look at versions of this picture all season long, but NOT ANYMORE.

Ding dong, the witch is dead!

Celtics 94, Cavs 85 (Celtics in 6)

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Recommended links:

• @KWAPT via @JSKCknit Twitpic: Gone fishin’ 1
• @jose3030 Twitpic: Gone fishin’ 2
• RedsArmy.com: ESPN, WRONG x 10
• Basketbawful: Worst of the Playoff Night: The “LeGone” edition
• @docfunk: Cavs v Celtics – Game 6

I love this interview on Boston.com. If Rondo was any more laid back, he’d be sleeping.

I really wish there was some kind of return policy for Sheed. Like when you accidentally purchase a useless troll doll from Walmart, you get to return it right? I think the Celtics should be able return Sheed to Detroit. While they’re at it, they might want to say, “Red rover, red rover, send Leon Powe back the fuck over” to Cleveland.

Source: NBARauf/YouTube

Watched most of the Cavs v. Pistons game on League Pass tonight and guess who had a great game? Why, Leon Powe, that’s who. It doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would seeing him in a Cavs jersey. Maybe I’m just used to it by now, but I think mainly it doesn’t bother me because I realize that he’s lucky to be wearing any jersey. It is amazing to me that it was once possible that he would fall out of the league for good. That’s what could have happened if nobody had believed in him. As much as I hate the Cavs, I will always appreciate that they took a chance on Leon when nobody else would. I think it’s ironic that Danny told Leon basically, “Sorry kid, we’ve only got a year or two to win championships with the Big 3. We can’t risk wasting a roster spot on you.”

Wasting a roster spot.

Read it and weep, Danny Ainge.

Credit: Boxscore screenshot from Yahoo!

This was in today’s intro to The Basketball Jones:

“People tell me the Celtics keep losing because they’re old, but I have another explanation. Maybe they just suck.”

Then I read this from WEEI’s Jessica Camerato via Red’s Army:

The Celtics repeatedly have mentioned “turning a corner” to get back on a winning track. But with 17 games left in the regular season, how far away is that corner? “I don’t know, maybe 17 blocks,” Rajon Rondo guesstimated on Friday. “It should be the same zip code.”

So which is it? They suck or they’re not trying? Either way, I don’t like it one little bit. Poor chemistry, age, injuries — all that I can forgive. A team that just doesn’t try… is dead to me. So, I sure hope Skeets is right. Because I’d rather have a team that sucks.

Related articles:

• TBJ: Ep. 528: Bump Bump
• Red’s Army: Rondo’s not so subtle hint: we’ll try in the playoffs
• WEEI: How Close Is That Corner?

Oooh, you’re going to make them practice hard? That’ll show ‘em who’s boss!

A lot of people think the Celtics are done. Not just done — done, done. I don’t believe it. I think they’re just bored with the regular season, don’t get up for bad teams and let bad offense become piss-poor defense — all, by definition, attitude problems that exist between the ears. Doc needs to kick them in the ass one by one, starting with Rasheed. He won’t though. Doc is the quintessential benign authority figure who threatens to lay down the law (“Don’t make me come back there!”) and never does.

Oh well, at the very least he should make them watch this YouTube video to remind them of what winning feels like:

Source: celtsfanjay/YouTube

Yes, if you’re counting, this would be the third time I’ve posted this video on my blog. I’m sure it won’t be the last either. If I could burn it into my brain stems to play on a continual loop for the rest of my life, I would. Don’t judge.

Oh and by the way, Leon Powe is starting tonight for the Cavs. Yeah, still hate you, Danny Ainge.

Related articles:

• Fear the Sword: Antawn Jamison out tonight, Leon Powe gets the start
• The Boston Globe: Wallace still upbeat
• Boston Herald: Frustrated Doc Rivers mulls changes

Holy crap, I’ve heard everything now. According to NESN (via WEEI.com), Glen Davis (aka Big Baby, aka The Ticket Stub, aka The Eleventh Hour, aka Uno Uno, aka BABY OIL) was up for the part of Michael Oher in The Blind Side and was one of three finalists for the part.

Davis was first approached to audition for the role at the start of his rookie season with the Celtics in 2007, according to WEEI.com. Davis was a high school football player himself, and he acted in improvisation shows throughout his time at LSU.

“I’ve always wanted to act,” Davis told the Web site. “I knew about the football player, he played at Ole Miss, and I heard there was a book out about that. So I said, ‘Sure, I’ll try out.’” [NESN.com: Glen Davis Nearly Landed Lead Role in 'The Blind Side']

Big Baby, Thespian. A business card just waiting to happen!

Damn that little Nate Robinson… He’s kind of hard to dislike. Either that or I’m just really REALLY bad at disliking guys once they put on the beloved green shamrock jersey. Yeah, could be the latter the more I think about it. Oh well, either way I have officially joined Team DomiNATE. Look at his fly new Twitter background… How can I continue to hate?

It’s freakin’ beautiful. *single tear*