nba musings

There are just so many things wrong with this picture that I don’t even know where to start. Wait, yes I do… Why does Tom Brady look like a 32-year-old Justin Bieber?

I’ve slowed down posting the post-game press conference outfit caps because the remaining teams’ players just aren’t giving me enough good material. Love my boys, but they dress pretty boring and there are only so many different ways I can try and spin Pau’s gray blazer and dirty hair look (homeless college professor, dirty french poet, etc.) before it becomes redundant. For old times sake though, please to enjoy:

Kobe, que pasa? Vic the Brick here… How’d you let this game get away from you?

Come on man, you look ridiculous. I can’t take you seriously dressed like that.

Yeah but, I’m not wearing white capris.

Touché.

Go Celtics!

I’m with Ron Artest’s barber… Boogie is his name
* I thought Ron Artest’s hair was tremendous. As was the sideline interview with “Boogie” the barber. “I’m with Ron Arest’s barber. Boogie is his name…” Boogie FTW!

Unfortunately, he’s shaved it already and now he looks like he has tattoos on his head. Which reminds me of… someone.

Speaking of Ron, I really miss watching him defend Kobe (or try to). Their interactions were highly entertaining last season. I guess Matt Barnes is picking up the mantle though.

Now that you mention it… where is Raja Bell these days?

The Orlando Magic have made big strides
* It’s taken quite some time, but the Orlando Magic have finally earned my respect. I’m still not completely sure they would beat the Lakers in a 7 game series, but I’m absolutely convinced if they play the Cavs in the conference finals, they’ll win. This season has a very deja vu type quality to me when it comes to the top teams in the East. The Celtics are again coming off injuries, the Cavs are cleaning up in the regular season and the Magic are quietly sitting in the top 3. Come playoff time, the Cavs are going to be overconfident as they easily cut through the garbage teams on the way to the ECF, but once they get there they won’t know how to handle a team that plays defense and has more composure when the pressure is really on. That’s my prediction, but if the Cavs can get past the ECF this season, maybe they’ll earn my respect too.

NASCAR’s rules are a joke
* I can’t believe NASCAR is only giving Carl Edwards a slap on the wrist for flagrantly wrecking Brad Keselowski on purpose this past Sunday. I’m also calling bullshit on their “Have at it, boys” mantra this season. You want to know what “Have at it, boys” is really all about? They should have called it the “our sport is dying because nobody on the track (especially Dale Jr.) is good enough to beat Jimmie Johnson for a Sprint Cup championship and the fans are picking up all their marbles and going home, so go ahead and wreck each other if it will pacify them” rule. To add insult to injury, Carl drives for Roush Fenway. Boooo!

Trades shmades. I am done reacting to Rondo rumors and/or listening to Danny Ainge deny them. In the spirit of offseason fluff, I direct you to this completely irrelevant news… TMZ.com apparently thinks LeBron is a giant douchebag and they’re going to keep chronicling his wardrobe choices until he gets the hint and stops wearing message tees.

The first post, Lebron James — Most Valuable Loser, took LeBron to task for wearing his achievements so prominently on his chest.

Pretty funny except they had to take it just a tad too far by saying that their L.A. boy, Kobe would never do that. Then they saw the “puppet wearing four rings” tee on Kobe and had to eat crow. Hence, the follow up post, Kobe to TMZ — Tell Me How Your Foot Tastes. Clever.

Lol at the dig, “It’s Kobe. We should’ve known better.” Let me get this straight, it’s Kobe’s fault you tried to use him to make a point about LeBron?

So, we’re done now right? Oh no, no, no you silly rabbit. The cameras of TMZ are everywhere. They tracked down the MVP in St. Tropez, spotted him in a “Check My $tats” tee and promptly posted, LeBron James Ego Tour Rolls On.

I’m not sure when LeBron took a wiz in TMZ’s Cheerios, but I say keep it coming. If not for this, I’d have to actually start thinking about the draft and trade scenarios and I just have zero interest in doing that. I like my team. As is. I’ve already stated what I’m willing to part with and I don’t care if we draft anyone Thursday night… capiche? Capiche, then.

NBA Finals Game 5
Lakers @ Magic 99-86

I was afraid, but not surprised, that this would be a short series. Kobe and Co. wanted this bad and the Magic just weren’t ready. A few thoughts, bullet-style:

• It amazes me how pundits continue to put words in Kobe’s mouth. This morning, I heard a morning show honk say that, “Kobe said he was so relieved to finally prove that he could win without Shaq!” Um no. That’s not what he said. He said, and I’m paraphrasing here, that he’s relieved that idiots would finally have to stop asking him about winning a title without Shaq. That’s two different things.
• As brilliant as Kobe was during the finals, I’m surprised more wasn’t made about Trevor Ariza’s contribution. He was major.
• I heard Magic championship gear was not even produced. That’s cold. Usually gear from the losing team gets produced and then shipped to a third world country. I do believe there are some poor children on the other side of the world wearing 2008 New England Patriots gear. Ouch.
• I feel bad for Adam Morrison. He was horribly overrated coming out of college, but that’s not his fault. Blame a weak ass draft class. Everybody’s making a big deal about him getting a ring while sitting on the bench in a suit, but what’s he supposed to do? He’s not the first guy to get a ring without making much of a contribution *cough Scot Pollard cough*. It happens all the time.
• What was up with Shaq tweeting his head off last night after the game? Sample: “Congratualtions [sic] kobe, u deserve it. You played great . Enjoy it my man enjoy it. And I know what yur sayin rt now “Shaq how my ass taste”You know. Somehow, I really don’t think Kobe was saying that. I think Kobe wants to win the championship every year and it has nothing to do with Shaq. In fact, he probably has a hard time playing checkers with his daughters without yelling, “In your face!” at them. He’s that competitive.
• Dwight Howard tweeted, “[...]kobe congrats. u inspired me.” I hope Kobe did inspire Dwight. I think Dwight needs to develop the one thing Patrick Ewing probably can’t help him with, his head. He needs a healthy dose of killer instinct.
• I’m really REALLY really going to miss the NBA season. Even though this season didn’t end the way I wanted it to, it was a lot of fun. I’m going to try to find something to keep blogging about so my site doesn’t turn into a rotting cadaver of stale posts… maybe I’ll have to start caring about the draft now.

NBA Finals Game 4
Lakers @ Magic 99-91/OT

If I start talking about this game, I’m going to end up swimming way out deep into hater lake without a life raft and I really don’t want to do that. I’ll let these pictures speak for me.

Don’t like that? How about this?

Come on Magic, don’t let me do you like this…

Dear Orlando,

You know there’s only one way to stop me, right? Win the next 3 games. For the love of Leon Powe and all that is holy and right with the world, do not go out like this. As much as I want to be right when I make a prediction (Lakers in 5), I really want to be wrong this time. I’m already going into hardcore NBA separation anxiety, so it would really help if you could stretch it to 7.

Love,
me

ps. Fix your point guard problems between tonight and tomorrow, ok? Ok, then.

NBA Finals Game 3
Lakers @ Magic 108-104

I’ll keep this short and sweet. The Magic shot an UNGODLY percentage and only won by 4. Kobe was gassed. Like Paul Pierce game 7 gassed. I expect the Lakers to win the next two and head home for the parade they’ve been planning since this time last year. Props to the Magic for winning their very first finals game ever though. Wow. First finals game ever. They have a lot of catching up to do. I have no doubt when and if Dwight becomes the player he could be, that they’ll start raising banners in O-town — I just don’t think it’ll be this year. Or next. Not much else to say about that. If the Magic win tonight, I guess I’ll have to issue a mea culpa in the morning. The Magic are fun to watch though and Courtney Lee has certainly made a name for himself this post-season. Please to enjoy…

“Courtney Lee, the rookie out of Western Kentucky”

Drafted by the Orlando Magic (1st round, pick 22).

Welcome to summer league, rook.

It’s a long season.

Before Dwight maimed me with his wild elbows…

After. I’m still pretty under this Rip Hamilton Halloween costume, I swear.

Chillin with the fans… matchy matchy with my shirt & shades.

The ladies love me.

NBA Finals Game 2
Lakers v. Magic 101-96/OT

• Kaboom. That is the sound of the Orlando Magic’s balloon of hope deflating.
• Rotations. A word Stan Van Gundy likes to play loose and fast with. I admire rotation adjustments. They’re critical to success. But, at some point, you really can’t be playing every combination of guards on your roster. I realize Pietrus was in foul trouble, but was it really a great idea to have Redick playing point guard (when the last time he saw any serious minutes was in the Boston round)?
• Rookie. A word describing Courtney Lee’s status in the league, in case anyone forgot. Those two missed layups by Lee were heartbreaking, but should he really have been the one taking them? I don’t care how talented he is or that he’s been starting this season, he’s still green around the gills. I agree it was a great play drawn up by SVG and if the basket had fallen it would be moot, but still. A veteran should be taking those kinds of shots for obvious reasons.
• Neutralized. A word that describes Dwight Howard in the first two games of this series. It seems like just yesterday that everyone was ready to annoint D12 the new king of the world. Remember that? What happened? Superman, my ass. Personally, I think he should have had to win more than a dunk contest to get a nickname like that, but that’s just me.
• All that being said, I don’t think being down 0-2 should be the end of the world. All that really happened was that the Lakers held serve on their home court — like they were supposed to do. The Magic now have the opportunity at home to get back in this thing. Will they? I’m not putting money on it. Especially if Stan can’t decide between Jameer, Rafer, Anthony, Hedo or J.J. at point guard.
• Off-topic: Kate Hudson & A-Rod? WTF?

Recent postings from around the blogosphere:

• Talk Hoops: 2009 NBA Finals: Lakers-Magic Game 2 Recap
• Heels on Hardwood: Done with Dinneyland…. For Now
• Red’s Army: Maybe the Lakers winning is a good thing
• Ball Don’t Lie: Video: Amar’e, Hill, Dahntay and Birdman on ‘Jimmy Kimmel’
• Both Teams Played Hard: All the News Fit to Six: June 8, 2009

NBA Finals Game 1
Lakers v. Magic 100-75

This game was a classic “die by the 3″ game. The Lakers defense was part of it, but the Magic also missed a ton of wide open shots. Simply put, the Magic are who we thought they were. The key to me was how the Lakers controlled Dwight. When Dwight can be controlled, the Magic are toast. I’ve read this book before. More than that though, Kobe was just a monster. He had a psycho look in his eye and as I said before this series started, there’s no way he’s not going to avenge last season’s finals. I’m sure the Magic will heat up and probably aren’t going to get swept. Past that though, I’m not sure how long this series can go.

It amused me that right before the game, David Stern announced that he was fining LeBron $25k for not speaking to the media. Strange that he had four off-days where he could’ve announced that, but instead waited until right before game 1. I’m sure LeBron won’t miss that $25k since that kind of money has to be cushion change to him. It was interesting to me when Stern said that LeBron would come and speak out about this at a later date. Why? He already spoke out about it last Sunday when he said he did nothing wrong. So now we are supposed to be sitting here waiting with bated breath for him to come BACK out and change his tune? Like, oh ok, NOW he’s sorry. NOW he realizes it was wrong. Ridiculous. I think the whole thing was overblown, but I also think LeBron’s first instincts and first comments were the truth. He’s spoiled and a bad sport. Nothing more, nothing less. I don’t want to hear another thing he has to say on the subject because spin control makes me cranky.

In other news, apparently KG is making championship guarantees for the next two seasons. Sigh. Oh KG, why do you do this to me? Not long ago, I stated that only chumps make guarantees. I would never call you a chump… but, cut it out.

Recent postings from around the blogosphere:

• Talk Hoops/Both Teams Played Hard – Cross Polination: Emails With Both Teams Played Hard, NBA Finals Preview | Talking Hoops with Talk Hoops: Vol. III (Zach & Jared are hilarious and a great team. Read volume 3 and then check the archives for 1 & 2. They are lengthy, so you’ll need a little time to read everything, but it’s worth every minute.)
• Heels on Hardwood – NBA Withdrawal: 10 Paperbacks for the Basketball Fan (Nat’s lists have been literally rocking my world. Read this post and then be sure to check all of her other great hoops-related recommendations.)
• The No-Look Pass – Chronicles Of Crotty #19: Come Clean (The latest podcast from Rey-Rey and his SoCal posse of Clips/Lakers fans. Check this one out and then be sure to backtrack through the archives. The guys have a lot of fun while sharing their insights on the game.)

Oh and ps. Found out last night that Kobe is Larry Bird’s favorite player. Why don’t you just tell me that Derek Jeter is Jim Rice’s favorite player while you’re at it.