nba musings

I’m back, motherf—ers!
* Boston.com: “But Garnett was not just grinning yesterday, following his first official practice since surgery. He was the gregarious, guffawing Garnett. Patellas and popliteus tendons were forgotten. Garnett trained at full speed, along with everyone else, through about three-quarters of the two-hour workout.” [Read the full article: Full speed ahead for Garnett]

Milk carton caption: Missing combo-guard
* Sigh, poor Delonte. I don’t know what’s going on, but for two straight days my Twitter feed has been full of “Delonte missed practice, unexcused” tweets.

Can we all just agree to ban track suits as wedding attire?
* Khlodom wed on Sunday as expected. The countdown to the inevitable “Lamar & Khloe still love & respect one another immensely, but grew apart due to their busy lifestyles” press release begins.

Wedding inspires Tush to run back to Bush
* Someone was supposed to send Reggie Bush my way when he and Kim K. called it quits several months ago. Unfortunately, he never showed up (aw, shucks) and sources say that after Khloe’s wedding (still wearing her purple “Mrs. & Mrs. Odom” track suit, by the by), Kim flew to NOLA to reunite with her former flame and now they’re back on like donkey kong.

Ok, now Steph has really gone insane
* Vibe reports that Steph went off on Jay-Z again via his 24/7 Starbury Plus channel on Justin TV. Sigh. I like Steph, but I’m not on board with the gay diss. He should know better than that. [Read the full article: Stephon Marbury Drops Another Jay-Z Diss]

Charles Barkley thinks you’re a loser
* During a recent interview with Dan Patrick, Charles Barkley expressed his disapproval towards social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook: ”I’m not a damn loser. I don’t Twitter. I think Twittering and all that Facebook crap … that just makes you a loser. I never said to myself, ‘I wonder what what’s his name is doing today.’” Haha, gotta love him. [Read full article: Barkley says Twitter is for losers, weighs in on T.O., Jordan]

Perk is betrothed
* Perk married his baby mama! From Boston.com:

The Celtics center got hitched in Houston over the weekend to his longtime girlfriend Vanity. Wedding guests included teammates Rajon Rondo and Leon Powe, and former men in green Ricky Davis and Patrick O’Bryant.

There are some great pictures at LOY’s Place if you want to check them out. Perk is even smiling, which shocks most everybody but me. I saw him smile huge once talking about his baby boy. I knew he had it in him.

Manny’s bobblehead to reporters: This is my town (until I join the Yankees someday)
* Apparently the Dodgers’ recent “Manny Bobblehead Night” did not go off without a hitch. From MercuryNews.com:

The Dodgers are still the major leagues’ best team and Manny Ramirez is still the star attraction, but this season will continue to contain its odd moments. For instance, Wednesday night. It was Manny bobblehead night at Dodger Stadium. But the initial sponsor, Kaiser Permanente, had to pull out because of that icky little steroid/female fertility thing.

In grand ole Manny fashion though, he got the last word. Despite initially sitting out with injury, he went in to pinch hit and ended up drilling a grand slam home run right to his faithful flock in the Mannywood section. Oh Manny…

Daniels to join the Celtics, someday… I think…
* I realize I have yet to post about Marquis Daniels joining the Celtics. There are a few reasons for this. The main reason is that I have absolutely no idea when/if he’s coming on board. I’m not super interested in players who “might” join the Celtics. Until they actually show up at the presser and hold up their jersey, I’m kind of meh.

Brett Favre, Attention Whore (It’s on the business card)
* This just in… Brett Favre has informed the Minnesota Vikings (and Rachel Nichols, his BFF) that he is going to remain retired. (pause) Except… I just read this tweet from Rich Eisen:

Stop the insanity!

Hmmm, now that I think of it, maybe Starbury’s boy Mooncricket could set up Favre with his own 24/7 Justin.tv channel.

Hey Reggie, call me
* Also recently just in… Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush bit the dust couple-wise. YES! Reggie Bush, back on the market. Be still my heart. Tony Romo apparently also tossed Jessica Simpson into the bedpost notch deadpool – on the eve of her 29th birthday no less. It’s like Logan’s Run! “Umm, Jess… You’re almost 30. An NFL QB like me has a short window of time where he can score the grade A tail. I’ve gotta toss you like a Domino’s pizza, sorry… Oh yeah, and you can’t come over anymore! I’m putting up a sign — persona non grata!”

Show me your number ones! Show me your number ones! Clap seal, clap!
* Speaking of StarburyTV, what kind of shenanigans are going on at Stephon Marbury’s house today? I don’t know… I can’t watch it at work (probably for the best), but when I checked it around 7pm tonight, this random dude was dancing in front of the camera telling the viewers to show him their number 1s. I had to call bullshit on this. It’s bad enough when Steph goes apeshit and demands number 1s like we’re all a bunch of trained f-king seals, but I’ll be damned if any old douchebag gets to jump on his camera and do it. C’mon Steph, we need standards and practices, babe.

Who is this dude?

If you’re interested, be my guest… but be prepared to throw your number 1s, number 2s, numbers 3s or to keep it 100. Love is love, Daddy.

1. I think KG must have literally meant it when he said that the game plan was, “Pass the ball to Paul and get the hell out of the way.” But, that doesn’t actually really bode well for the C’s. See, I was trying to think about which Piston I was going to post a voodoo doll picture of today and I couldn’t narrow it down to one guy. They are balanced at every position and don’t rely on just one guy to carry them to the win. Not long ago, I would’ve described the Celtics that way too, but lately, not so much. Any given night, one or more is more likely to disappear than show up and needless to say, that’s not good. Me no likey.

2. Raise your hand if you really expected P.J. Brown to be an integral part of any win on-the-court in the post-season? If you’re raising your hand, you’re either Kreskin or a liar.

3. Missing shooting guard. If found, please return unharmed. No questions asked. Reward offered.

In other areas of my mind:

I watched the season finale of Keeping up with the Kardashians last night. So much of Kim Kardashian’s my boyfriend Reggie these days. Very interesting. Even more interesting is how he appears on the show, but doesn’t actually speak. Maybe its just as well. Some people should just sit there and look pretty.

Gossip Girl tonight. I can’t believe (well I can) that the “Serena killed someone” plot was so incredibly lame and they tied it all up in a bow in one episode. I hope it wasn’t the “jumped the shark” moment. I’ll miss Chuck if the show gets too sucky to watch.

There was no basketball jones podcast today so I decided to enjoy the archives and re-listened to the last 8 episodes. Good times, good times. I laughed out loud (again) in my office over the Scalabrine rap and the Nicola phone call. If loving that podcast is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

Note to Jason Giambi and whichever teammates wear his golden thong - Ewwwwwwwww!

The Blowtorch posted the Spurs Game 7 Gameplan and it’s an instant classic…

The fking Spurs are still alive and well in the playoffs. They do this to torment me. *shaking fist at the sky*

My beloved Celtics are playing the Lebrons away again tonight. Unlike Jameer, I will not guarantee a victory for my team. Instead… I’m introducing a new product that I believe will be useful for years to come:

I hate to put the ole hex-a-rino on Lebron because I do like him, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

In other news, ESPN has been talking about Kim Kardashian’s my boyfriend all day because there’s another USC athletics scandal. That’s been fun. I understand why its a story and all, but raise your hand if you’re really shocked and awed by the idea that O.J. Mayo might’ve started accepting “cash and gifts” early… I’m not going to make excuses because quite honestly, I don’t really care. If someone backs a truck up to my house and offers me a flat screen and a suitcase of money, I’m not saying, “No thanks” but maybe that’s just me.

Crap! Just remembered the Celtics, Gossip Girl and The Hills are all on tonight. Why can’t I clone myself? Obviously the Celtics game 4 playoff game is the most important… but, its also extremely important to find out who Serena killed. *sigh* It’s like Sophie’s Choice!

Utah 123, Lakers 115 – Utah ties the series 2-2 in an overtime win. The best part of the game for me was when Kyle Korver drained two free throws towards the end of OT and Hubie deemed him to have “icewater in his veins.” He is pretty automatic, isn’t he? I’m convinced if the Magic had passed on J.J. two years ago, he’d be playing Kyle Korver’s minutes in Utah right now. I would imagine those “Mrs. Redick” tee shirts would be just as popular and just as pink. Apparently Korver is not quite on board with the tee shirts and at least one teammate has weighed in:

“That’s messed up.” –Deron Williams

The Lakers should win every game they play against the Jazz. They look that much better. Somehow though, the Jazz keep managing to win these home game squeekers.

I’m starting to think this series could go 7. I hope it does. I really want to create a “mrs. korver drinking game”…

1. Peep a pink “Mrs. Korver” tank in the crowd – chug a beer
2. Spot more than one “I Heart Kyle” baseball shirt – do two shots
3. Every Kyle 3-pointer drained – chug a beer and do two shots (if he’s on that night, you are guaranteed to get completely fked up by the end of the game… like “crouched over the throne w/your roommate holding your hair back for you” trashed. Good times, good times.)
4. Whenever Kyle ducks out of the way on defense – bow head in shame
5. Triple bonus if in the grand ole tradition of “Grady’s Ladies”, the Mrs. Korvers unify and name themselves something really precious like “Korver’s Cuties” – drink the whole keg & a wine box
6. Ok, I’m done.

Keeping up with the Kardashians – Lots of Reggie on tonight’s episode. Aww, and it’s not even my birthday. Thanks E!

The Pistons just went on a 15-0 run to tie it up with the Magic. Hell to the yeah!

[Update: Pistons win by ONE POINT. Wow! I actually feel bad for Hedo Turkoglu though because I really think highly of him. But, since I wanted the Pistons to win this one... YAY!]

So Mike D’Antoni to the Knicks, huh? He must be a glutton for punishment or something. Oh well, who knows… maybe he is a miracle worker.

My Celtics went to Cleveland and bit the dust. I think that was predictable, so I’m not too concerned about it. Thank goodness we have home court advantage throughout the playoffs because I have a feeling we’re going to need it.

I might’ve named my new 160GB ipod “Reggie5Bush”… Don’t judge!

Boston 99, Atlanta 65 – That’s the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it… But seriously now, why the hell did it take 7 games? It was mind-boggling the way the Hawks fell apart in Boston every game and then went back home and played so great. Thank the good lord all-mighty that we had and will continue to have home court advantage.

Notes from the game:

• Dear Marvin Williams, your claims that you were trying to keep “one of your best friends” Rondo from falling on the parkay were easily refuted by the replay shown on high definition surround sound of you DROPPING him on his head. So try again there sucker. What is it with this team? Horford puts T.J. Ford in the hospital and now this? Ever heard of making a play for the actual basketball? Enjoy the off-season. No love, me
• Ray Allen was missing everything. It was excruciating. I hope he gets his mojo back for Lebron & Co.
• The Posey hugs today were lovely as always. Sigh. I think I have a little crush on James Posey. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone. *wink*
• The Zohan movie doing the split-screen commercial with Baron Davis was hysterical.

Lakers 109, Utah 98 – I never really thought the outcome of this game was in question. Sure, the Jazz stayed in the game the whole time and always had a chance to go on a run, but come’on… who has a shot to win at Staples with fat Jack in the house cheering on his boys? Not to mention… Dyan Cannon, Spiderman, E from Entourage, Anthony Kiedis, Denzel… and so on and so on. Celebrity cheerleaders always give you an advantage. They’re like normal fans only a hundred times richer and better looking. Its like having the center of the sun in your corner and their light just leads every shot into the hoop like a rainbow into a kettle of gold. Oh… and I guess a little Kobe Bryant on your team doesn’t hurt either.

Reality crap on E! – I’m waiting with baited breath for the 10pm episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians to come on. Why, you ask? Because I can’t wait to find out how the compelling “Kardashian Civil War” is going to turn out? No way jose. I’m tuning in to see my boyfriend Reggie Bush on webcam. Ooooh baby baby. *wink* I really hope Kim realizes I want him back when she’s done. *wink-wink*

Oh yeah, I fell asleep before the end of the game, but way to go Hornets for beating the evil Spurs!