nba musings

I really wanted to embrace Stephon Marbury. God knows why. Before he came to Boston, I despised him on reputation alone. Once he was on my team, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Then during all this off-season marburython nonsense, I was still rooting for him to get his shit together and show everyone that he’s a misunderstood guy with a big heart. But, I can’t pretend the emperor is walking around fully dressed when the mofo is so obviously buck bollicky naked.

My disenchantment started with the dancing around screaming at the camera (directed at fans) to “throw up your 1s” (funny at first, it soon grew ridiculously repetitive). But, I kept telling myself that he’s just looking for acceptance and some sort of sad proof that someone, anyone, had his back. The disillusionment continued though, with the constant self-promotion on Twitter and the RT-ing of every inane @reply message that supported his message. Finally, I decided enough was enough and stopped following him on Twitter. Big deal, right? Well, it was in a way. Because it takes a lot to make me give up on someone. Particularly someone so obviously desperate for support.

But, I do believe I’ve come full circle. Stephon Marbury is who I thought he was.

This article was the final straw:

Marbury, who played part of last season with the Boston Celtics after his messy divorce from the New York Knicks ended with a buyout, went unsigned as a free agent this offseason after turning down Boston’s $1.3 million veteran minimum offer.

“I’m resting, doing what Michael Jordan did, enjoy life, do things I haven’t done in 16 years, keep building my empire,” Marbury said, according to the Post. “I wasn’t going to Boston for that money. It was a prudent business decision to take off this year.” [ESPN-Boston, Report: Marbury plans 2010-11 return]

The quote is from the Post, so normally I would say take it for what’s it’s worth, but in this case, I know it’s true.

I wasn’t going to Boston for that money.

Holy ego. People kept saying that the Ustream/Justin.tv shows were the reason Steph didn’t go back to the NBA this season. That he ruined his chances by eating Vaseline and the like. I knew that wasn’t true. He turned the NBA down first. Specifically, he turned the Boston Celtics down first and when he realized no big money offers were coming, it was then that he “shut it down.” Why? Because he didn’t get enough playing time last season. How do I know that? Because I was watching. More than once he opined about the “splinters in his ass” and how the whole situation was a test of his sanity and willpower.

According to the article, Steph plans to come back to the NBA for the 2010-11 season. Mmmm, yeah.

Good luck with that.

ps. Update: The straw that really breaks the camels back… He trashes The Truth on Twitter. Bitch, please. Dead to me.

Want to avoid flying bullets? Don’t lurk in the christless bushes
* Two paparazzos are suing Tom Brady & Gisele Bündchen for a cool million smackaroos, claiming that bodyguards (employed by Brady/Bündchen) fired shots at them while they were trying to snap pics at the couple’s wedding in Costa Rica. Citing “physical pain and anguish” the photogs are looking to cash in. Bitch, please. Until you actually have a bullet wound in your butt, don’t distract my quarterback! More on this nonsense at bostonherald.com – Tom Brady: What shots?

Nice piece on Rondo by Holly MacKenzie (@stackmack) for Slam Online
* Slam Online’s definitive ranking of the NBA’s best players places Boston Celtics point guard, Rajon Rondo, at #27.

Standing alongside the other superstars suiting up for the Celtics, there isn’t a star that shines brighter (or that has the longevity), than the one illuminating Rondo’s game.

Damn right. It’s nice to see Rondo get some love. Read it here: slamonline.com – Top 50: Rajon Rondo, no. 27

Steph’s new home, tagline and background
* Steph’s StarburyTV on Justin.tv was apparently suspended for violating the site’s terms of use. You can now catch the show at its new home at http://www.justin.tv/starburyplus. The new mantra is apparently: YOUR IN THE MOMENT RT*. What’s up with professional athletes and spelling & grammar? You’re. Thank you. Also, RT is a Twitter thing. It doesn’t work just anywhere, babe. Nice background though. I imagine that’s what I’ll see on my way into heaven.

Recent Celtics-related articles from boston.com:

• Dickau chooses Suns camp over Celtics
• Wallace making way in community
• Rivers sees new Celtics adding a lot
• Garnett making progress

If you can’t believe a boozed out bisexual internet phenom, who can you believe?
* Depending on who you believe, Tila Tequila was either choked out and unlawfully restrained by “boyfriend,” Shawne Merriman – or – respectfully detained by an “acquaintance” only interested in keeping her from driving while intoxicated. More on this tawdry tale… Shawne Merriman’s lawyer: LB was seeking ride for ‘extremely intoxicated’ Tila Tequila | NFL’s Merriman accused of choking girlfriend Tila Tequila

Slick Rick
* Rick Fox is joining Melrose Place. And the jokes will clearly just write themselves.

He said, he said
* While I was away from blogdom and Twitterdom, there was a sad and tragic breakup! Ashton & Demi? No, worse! Steph and Mooncricket!! Noooooo! What the heck happened? I can only imagine. Amusingly though, the two decided to take to their respective Twitters to air it out. From what I can gather, Mooncricket got pissed about something and left casa de Starbury. Steph then implored him to come back or at least pick up the phone and call him. Alas though, it appears to be over. Oh the humanity!

Beckett bites the big one (No! I will NOT say, “pause.” That is stupid. STUPID!, I say.)
* My boyfriend, Josh Beckett, appears to be in the midst of a tragic slump. I tried to watch today’s game (CWS 5, BOS 1), but just couldn’t do it. The Josh Beckett that I know and love, rips opposing hitters’ hearts out, throws them to the ground and spits on them. I don’t want to remember him any other way.

A watched kettle finally boils
* Finally! Marquis Daniels signs on the dotted line. I like what I’m hearing from him so far: “Not many people get a chance to play with Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Rasheed Wallace. It’s a good opportunity and I’ll worry about the money later. Right now we have to worry about one thing, and that’s winning the championship this season.” Sounds like a smart guy to me. Now, lets get this season started! I’m tired of waiting. This off-season has been WAY TOO LONG! More from Boston.com: Celtics get their man

ps. Brad Penny sucks weenies
* Don’t you just love it when a guy loses games for you all season long, then gets released and pitches gems for their new team? You don’t? Yeah, me either. Suck it, Brad Penny!!

^ I won’t miss these god awful puns… at all! ^

Say it ain’t so, Ocho
* He’ll be back. Like a moth to the flame…

No, not for his sometimes wacky behavior on Justin.tv, because that’s awesome. I’m talking about his background collages. This one looks like he was posing for Glamour Shots at the local mall.

Source: http://www.justin.tv/starburytv

It also gives me the heebie jeebies to see people’s eyes in extreme closeup. *shiver*

…but he has GREAT taste!

I will admit I was a little nervous when he zoomed in on his waistband… You just never know what might happen. I didn’t want to accidentally peep his starburies or anything like that. But, he apparently just wanted to show Boston some love by zooming in on the shamrock on the Celtics shorts he was wearing. Phew! Can’t hate on a guy for that!

Love is love, Daddy. 111111111

Source: StarburyTV on Justin.tv

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before
* You know that time in high school when your ivy league bound boyfriend broke up with you and ignored you until you started dating the captain of the football team? Then he called you at the eleventh hour and asked you to prom? Evans Clinchy of NESN.com breaks it down in: Powe’s Departure Not About Years or Money

Some of my best friends are… dancers
* Brendan Haywood’s recent homophobic comments about Stephon Marbury bring to mind the semi-recent caveman squawkings of Shavlik Randolph. You know, the whole “Don’t drop the soap around this guy” kind of nonsense. I will tell Haywood what I told Randolph… Don’t flatter yourself. Anyway, Bethlehem Shoals discusses new media’s double-edged sword for The Baseline in: Is Brendan Haywood Really Worried About Starbury’s Sexuality or Something Else?. UPDATE: Kelly Dwyer also adds his insightful two cents for Ball Don’t Lie in: Brendan Haywood isn’t fully informed

Brett Favre is like a fart in church. You want to ignore him, but you can’t
What’s more old and tired than Brett Favre? Bitching about Brett Favre every time he faux retires and then makes a triumphant comeback. Yet still, every single time, I cannot help but throw my hands up in disgust when he un-retires again. If returning to football was a sick child, I would accuse Favre of suffering from Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome. He’s addicted to the attention (now primarily negative) and nothing short of a full body cast is going to keep him from returning to football. Again. (And again, and again, and again…) Mike Florio reports for Pro Football Talk that: Favre is on a plane to Minnesota

Get your rent checks ready!
* Well, he probably won’t get that much playing time… But still, it’s pretty cool that the landlord is coming to town. Being the diehard J.J. Redick fan that I am, I’ve seen lots and lots of Shelden Williams on the college level. He was like the Robin to J.J.’s Batman back then. Well, maybe Greg Paulus was the Robin… Bad analogy. Anyway, I’m excited that Shelden is getting another chance to do something at the NBA level. This would appear though, to perhaps be his last chance to show what he can do. He’s bounced around since being drafted 5th (crazy weak ass draft that saw Adam Morrison and Shelden Williams both go in the top 5) by the Atlanta Hawks. It was funny today trying to explain to a coworker who Shelden Williams is. This is how it went: 1.) He went to Duke! 2.) He’s married to Candace Parker! 3.) Ummm, I can’t remember who he played for last. He’s played for at least 3 or 4 teams, I think! His name never did ring a bell with her. Guess it’s not that surprising. Anyway, as much as I love Shelden, I don’t understand picking him up over extending Leon a qualifying offer.

Speaking of the backup love of my life
* Slam reported this morning that the Cavs have offered a deal to Leon Powe. Then on Ball Don’t Lie, Skeets posted an example of what a future article might read like if that deal does come to fruition. Just stab me in the heart and twist it around why don’t you? Seriously. That “article” made me want to vomit chunks. Mostly because it’s so accurate. I want another team to pick up Leon if the Celtics aren’t going to, but I really didn’t want it to be the Cavs or Lakers. When they let James Posey go to NOLA, I was totally ok with that because the Hornets aren’t in the conference. I hoped that Powe would end up with Sacramento or if it had to be in the conference, then on some innocuous team like the Miami Heat. This sucks monkeychunks. It really frosts my cupcakes that Danny Ainge doesn’t call me at home and run all moves by me.

24/7 just ain’t happenin’
* I’m noticing more and more when I go to check on Steph on his Starbury TV 24/7 channel that he’s not there. By and large, that has to be a good thing. On the other hand, when he does show up he immediately goes back to the usual script and soundtrack. Occasionally though, he goes on some interesting off-script diatribes. Last night, he went off on Yao Ming of all people. I was trying to remember exactly what he said, but as luck would have it, someone posted it to YouTube. My favorite part is where he compares himself to a bowling ball. Please to enjoy:

Source: YouTube/DDKTien

What’s good around the blogosphere:

Gotta love that bonus track
Nat from Heels on Hardwood comes up with the ideal playlist for Bryan Colangelo’s summer in: Bryan Colangelo’s iPod Playlist – Summer 2009

This post must have taken forever to write!
Zach Harper, the Energizer bunny behind Talkhoops.net (and Cowbell Kingdom) ranks this year’s off-season moves in: It’s a List! Ranking the Off-Season Moves

Ok *now* things are getting weird…
* Apparently, at some point in time when I wasn’t watching (which believe it or not is most of the time) Steph apparently invited a guy named Daniel from the Starbury TV chat room whose mother recently died to come work for him and stay at the house. He flew him in and TMZ filmed the whole thing at the airport and apparently while driving home, they were involved in a minor fender bender (which is up on YouTube). Also at some point today, Steph’s sister flew in unannounced from Washington D.C. because she, “heard he was buggin’.” Then later, the behind-the-scenes camera showed Mooncricket (the Justin.tv camera guy who has been helping Steph with the streaming since the beginning) and the new kid Daniel sitting in the movie theater in Steph’s house. Steph came into the room and handed Daniel a cell phone and told him that he’s going to pay him to answer it.

Here’s this phone and I’m going to pay you… but you have to answer it!

Later on, Steph sent out a tweet giving out the number as some kind of hotline.

Just to see what would happen, I called the number. It went straight to voice mail and said the box is full. Steph is supposed to be coming on later tonight with this kid Daniel around 11:30pm est.

I have to work tomorrow (and also may be too busy getting love advice on Ustream from Chad Ocho Cinco) so I don’t think I’m going to watch… We’ll see though.

Update #1: Yeah, ok… I stayed up and watched. Well actually I was watching Chad (who also gave out his phone number tonight — what’s up with these guys?) and someone on Twitter said Steph was on so I checked it out. He came on at 11:25pm and started taking calls from fans on the cell phone mentioned above. Then announced that this 24/7 thing was going to be his life from now on. Blamed ESPN for making him look crazy. Danced around to Diamond Girl. Rinse. Repeat. I guess the big announcement was fans being able to reach him now. I think I’ll stick with Chad and his love advice. If I have to listen to any more Drake or that damn Diamond Girl song, I’m going to go apeshit.

Update #2: Later on, he got in a fight with his sister (and it’s already been posted on Youtube). In the morning, his stream window was black but music could be heard playing. He spent the morning talking to fans in the chat application and at one point indicated that he would like to play basketball overseas in Italy [Broadcaster starburytv: yes they did say that i was crazy for saying that i was going to go over seas which 99 percent of me is going to italy to play. i cant wait either. man its going to be great.]

…and is there a 12-step program for attention addiction?
* Just when I find myself able to slowly back away from the addictive crack that is Starbury TV, Chad Ocho Cinco has to come along and create a channel on Ustream. Noooooo! I watched a little of “The Ocho Cinco Show” earlier tonight just to see what it was all about. I figured there would be a lot of haterade in the chat room and Chad would be screaming at people to show him their number 1s and refrain from boxing him up UPS-style. It ended up being surprisingly tame, with him brushing most negative comments off and showing off his cigar collection. He did say one startling thing though. He had to leave for dinner and said that when he comes back, he’ll stay up all night and answer questions. Uh oh! I’ve read this script before and it ends with a lot of Drake, crying and petroleum jelly. Not good, not good. Either way folks, just remember… narcissists who crave attention are people too.

Chad shows off his favorite cigars…

You think I didn’t check on Steph? You been eatin’ Vaseline?
* Of course, when I got home from work tonight, I had to check in on my boy Steph on Starbury TV. I watched for a few minutes while he danced frenetically to the now ubiquitous, Diamond Girl, until he started unbuckling his pants and threatened to pull them down. Um yeah, no thank you. I honestly am hoping that some night soon, I’m going to check and that page on Justin.tv will be gone. As “entertaining” as this has been during what might have been a very long and dull off-season, I’d like to see him get some professional help. J.A. Adande wrote a nice piece on the subject that I’ve linked to below.

They tried to put me in a box…

What’s good around the blogosphere:

Off-season? What Off-season?
* Nat from Heels on Hardwood breaks down all the latest “off-season” goings-on: The NBA – Where 365 Days Of Entertainment Happens

Step by Step? Bitch, please
* On his Both Teams Played Hard blog, Jared Wade uncovers an alarming lack of sitcom theme song awareness in Orlando in: Not a Lot of Dave Coulier Fans in Orlando

Hmmm, turtles doing the boinky boink or a tribute post to Paul Pierce? Tough call
* My favorite Red’s Army post to date. A very nice tribute to Paul Pierce and his legacy as a Celtic in: Paul Pierce: The last great Celtic

Speaking of Red’s Army…
* Graham Brunell from Celtics 17 interviewed the guys who run the Red’s Army blog in: Interview With John Karalis and Chuck McKenney Of Red’s Army

What’s good around the mainstream:

Love is love, Daddy!
* In a piece for ESPN, J.A. Adande weighs in on Starbury TV in: Streaming Steph is a sad, sad show

Around 9:15pm EST or so, Stephon Marbury came back from a business meeting to his live stream on StarburyTV and said, “Basketball is a wrap.” Then he ranted and raved, held up a jar of vaseline, lectured some haters… Sigh, same shtick as usual. Anyway, I figured I should at least share the (presumed) announcement about being done with basketball. I know that will make some Celtics fans breathe a little easier. Actually, for all I know, he meant that basketball was a sandwich hummus wrap. Hard to tell what the hell he’s talking about these days. Anyway, he said it twice. Take it for what it’s worth.

“I don’t play basketball no more, I’m an entertainer.” -Stephon Marbury, 7/28/09